Not this year…

I’m too tired. 

I’m too tired to be angry. 

I’m too tired to “never forget“. 

I’m just emotionally drained. 

For the last 22 years, I’ve had to live with the failure that happened on that day. It’s my job. The only people that have had it worse than I have are those who lost loved ones on that terrible day, and those who served our country in uniform during that time and spent months away from their families... either to defend our country from another attack or having to go halfway across the world to confront those responsible.

But the last 3 1/2 years have drained me to a breaking point. I need to rest. 

Those who planned that day are dead. Their organization is a shell of what it once was. They never launched the next phase… the bigger punch against us (like a dirty bomb) that we feared they were going to.

To be fair, we still keep an eye out. One horrible day is one horrible day too many. 

But seeing the same picture, over and over and over again, and being reminded to never forget… 

You don’t have your own personal picture of those buildings before they fell? You haven’t taken a picture of the spotlight beams going up into the sky where the buildings once stood? You haven’t gone to New York or PA and visited at least one of the Memorials? 

I remember the day I visited the towers. It was a cold March day. We had to take multiple elevators just to get up to the observation deck on the 107th floor. I remember trying to go up to the rooftop, but it was closed off. I took picture facing South, East, & North. It was a wonderful memory.

That horrible day made me find the pictures of the wonderful day. I’ve posted the memory of the wonderful day over the years as a counterbalance… a positive remembrance.

But I also remember how we got to that horrible day. That horrible day did not happen as an isolated moment.

I remember those we lost in Mogadishu.

I remember those we lost in the Khobar Towers.

I remember those we lost in Kenya & Tanzania.

I remember those we lost aboard the USS Cole.

I remember Madrid & London which happened after.

I remember the day we finally removed the mastermind of all of it… and the day we removed the other one.

I choose to “Remember”… what the buildings once were & who the people we lost on that day were… & not to “Never Forget” the pain & anger I felt on that day. 

I haven’t had a good night sleep in a long time. For too long, I was driven by what I was seeing on the “news”. And it made me angry… as it was designed to do. No more. It’s too much.

Not this year… not after I lost both my parents. Not after I have lost dear friends. 

If you want to be angry at me because my words hit too close, it’s your prerogative… but know that I’m not the real reason you are angry.

Maybe we all need to get 50 miles outside our comfort zones. Maybe we need to close our mouths & open our ears & hearts again to hear our neighbors, coworkers, & friends. Maybe we need to celebrate even the little happy moments more… moments that truly unite us. Because happiness rejuvenates us. Joy is a powerful force.

Reliving the same pain over & over won’t move us forward. 

Never forget? How about Remembering those we lost on that day & strive to be better people in their memory? How about just showing kindness again? That is when we are at our best.

But for now… maybe I can catch up on sleep. I’m just too tired. Not. This. Year.

The COVID Pandemic... 3 years later.

Saturday marks three years since the World Health Organization declared a Global Pandemic for COVID-19.  Three years since the world began to shut down.  Three years since the world was forever changed.  Three years almost to the day that I came face-to-face with the Apocalypse.

As of March 5th, 2023, the number of confirmed Covid cases in the US alone has totaled over 103 million, while the confirmed death toll in the US now exceeds 1.12 million.  Based on 2 separate conservative estimates, the actual death toll from Covid is probably an additional 200-400 thousand deaths higher.  Millions continue to suffer from symptoms of Long Covid.

We are likely approaching the endemic state of Covid across the globe.  In the US, the Covid Emergency will officially end on May 11... 38 months after the Global Pandemic was declared.  Numbers indicate that the number of new Covid cases and Covid deaths are nowhere at the levels they were a year ago during the Omnicron wave or even 2 years ago, when the US was beginning to come out of the worst portion of the pandemic.

What this post will do tonight is take a look at which parts of this country have done the best in fighting Covid, and which have not.

I mentioned the actual Covid numbers above, but if you look at those same numbers of per 100k people, the numbers tell an equally devastating picture.  In the US, the number of confirmed cases per 100k people currently stand at 31577, and the number of deaths per 100k people stands at 342.  That means the number of confirmed cases that have ended in death are about 1.083%.  Compare those numbers to the 1918-1920 Spanish Flu Pandemic in the US, where the per capita rate for Positive Flu cases were 28000, the death rate per 100k was 642 (est), and the percentage of confirmed flu cases that ended in death was estimated at 2.25%.  You would be tempted to say the Spanish Flu Pandemic was worse, but keep in mind, the Covid pandemic had better means of treatment than the flu pandemic had.  Plenty of ventilators, experimental treatments, and vaccines were things those treating the Covid pandemic had that those treating the flu pandemic did not.

So how do you determine which states have done well and which have not?  Let's take a look at California, for example.  California has had the most number of confirmed cases total over 12 million and the most number of deaths as that number exceeds 100k (these number are taken from statistics compiled by Johns Hopkins University from all 50 states' Dept. of Health COVID Sites).  Looks bad, right?  Well, not as bad as you think.  Keep in mind, California has just under 40 million people living in the state.  That means the number of cases per 100k people is at 30651, the number of deaths per 100k people is at 256, and the percentage of cases that have ended in death is about 0.835%... all three categories of measurement being below the national averages by significant margins.  

Based on a formula I used from Microsoft Excel, where I use Normal Statistical Distribution curves comparing California's numbers to the US mean numbers and the Standard Deviation of all 50 states (weighted with Confirmed Cases per 100k accounting for 33% of the total score, deaths per 100k accounting for 50% of the score, and Percent of cases ending in death accounting for 17% of the score), California's score on a scale from 0 to 100 (0 being no Covid cases or deaths and 100 meaning the pandemic was a disaster) is 24.382... and good enough for 11th best out of 50 states.

So which 10 states are doing a better job of dealing with the pandemic than California?  Here they are, with their respective scores as of March 5th, 2023:

10. Maryland - 22.807

9.  Virginia - 22.787

8.  Colorado - 22.327

7.  Nebraska - 20.732

6.  New Hampshire - 12.251

5.  Oregon - 10.262

4.  Maine - 8.986

3.  Washington - 7.642

2.  Hawaii - 5.106

1.  Vermont - 2.555

A couple of notes here... Vermont has not updated their numbers in over 2 weeks, so Vermont's score is probably going to have to be adjusted higher.  But, those adjusted number are unlikely to change Vermont's status as the state that has handled the Pandemic best of all.  Secondly, Washington DC does not count in these rankings, but if they did, DC's score of 7.186 would be good enough to place it 3rd best.

Now we go the other side of the ledger and point out the 10 worst states dealing with the pandemic.  Early on in this pandemic, New Jersey and New York were the two worst states overall.  But times have changed and those two states no longer even rank in the bottom 10 of states that have dealt with the pandemic.  New York current ranks 38th with a score of 72.375 and New Jersey ranks 40th with a score of 73.759.  That's not to say that New York and New Jersey have turned it around as much as it says other states failed to learn from their lessons and have made the same or even worse mistakes.

So here are the 10 worst states going from 41st to 50th place with their respective scores as of March 5th, 2023:

41. New Mexico - 74.824

42. Florida - 74.956

43. Kentucky - 77.359

44. Alabama - 77.505

45. Arkansas - 77.765

46. Oklahoma - 79.445

47. Mississippi - 80.664

48. Tennessee - 81.994

49. Arizona - 82.028

50. West Virginia - 84.294

Some other states of notes... Texas is 17th with a score of 38.956, Illinois is 21st with a score of 46.492, Ohio is 23rd with a score of 49.857, Georgia is 33rd with a score of 61.291, and Indiana is 34th with a score of 61.425. 

This pandemic has generally affected more rural areas than urban ones.  For example, Georgia's big 5 Metro Atlanta Area counties have accounted for 20% of the deaths, but since they account for 33% of the population, it means those 5 counties are generally doing better at saving lives than the rest of the state.  Johns Hopkins stats allow for counties to be compared with each other, so let's look at a metro Atlanta county (Gwinnett) and compare it with a exurban/rural county to its east (Walton).  The number of confirmed positive cases per 100k in each county is roughly the same, but the death rate per 100k is more than double in Walton as compared with Gwinnett.  Similar findings occur in other counties and while a few rural counties in GA buck the trend (Forsyth County is a good example), every county that is above GA's average of 400 deaths per 100k people is a rural or metro Atlanta exurban county.  Many metro areas across this country have hospitals that have been stressed to the limit in this pandemic... and those are the hospitals that have actually been able to save hundreds of thousands of lives.  If a rural county does have a hospital, many across this country have been exposed in this pandemic as being broken and, with many in rural areas having mistrust of medicine and doctors, it appears rural hospitals may take a long time to recover from this pandemic... if they ever do.

A new kind of normal is beginning to emerge and things will never be the way they once were.  Covid will never disappear.  It is here to stay.  Whether via vaccine or by getting the virus, humans genetics will evolve to fight Covid and, one day, getting Covid will be no different than getting the flu or a cold.  It may take some time, however.

The COVID Pandemic at 2 Years (and counting...)

Today's Rogue Corner is just a compilation of statistics as we have officially reached the two-year anniversary of the WHO declaring Covid-19 as a global pandemic (March 11, 2020).  These stats have been compiled by Johns Hopkins University, taken data from State Department of Health's Websites as well as National Health Websites across the globe.  It is probably one of the most complete global looks at this pandemic that is available.

As of March 10, 2022, there have been just under 79.5 Million Positive Covid Tests in the United States.  In terms of comparing that number to the US population, it is the equivalent of just under 1 in 4 Americans that have tested positive.  Just over 965,000 Americans have died of Covid. That translate to about 1 in 340 Americans that have died from Covid.  In terms of the Death Rate from Covid, in the US about 1.2% of Covid cases in the US have resulted in death.  In comparison, during the Flu Pandemic of 1918-1920, 2.25% of all Flu cases in the US resulted in death.  However, it is important to keep in mind that many life-saving techniques available to Health care providers during Covid were not available in the Flu Pandemic a century ago.  Flu vaccines were not available until around 1960, ventilators were not as available in 1918 and many treatments for covid and flu did not exist in 1918.

The 965,000 deaths from Covid is the largest loss of life due to a pandemic in US history.  By comparison, the AIDS pandemic which has continued for over 40 years has killed over 700,000 Americans, and the 1918 Flu Pandemic killed an estimated 675,000 Americans.  Also keep in mind, the 965,000 deaths from Covid in the US is a floor estimate. Studies have suggested that the number of people infected with Covid is higher and the Death Toll from Covid could be as high as 1.2-1.3 million.  Over each of the last two years, Covid has been the third leading cause of death in the US, behind only Heart Disease and Cancer.

Globally, there are over 450 million positive Covid tests and over 6 million deaths from Covid.  This puts Covid as one of the 10 worst pandemics in World history in terms of loss of life.  The industrialized world has taken the biggest hit in this pandemic in terms of number of cases and number of deaths.

In terms of the states, the four largest states in terms of population (California, Texas, Florida, and New York) rank 1, 2, 3, and 4 in terms of number of cases and deaths.  However, if you look at the numbers in terms of number of positive tests and deaths per 100k people in each state, the numbers tell a different story.  Here is a brief look at states with the highest and lowest postive test rates and death rates in the country.

5 Highest State Overall Positive Test Percentages compared to State Population:
1. Rhode Island (33.76%)
2. Alaska (33.18%)
3. North Dakota (31.37%)
4. Tennessee (29.50%)
5. Utah (28.86%)

5 Lowest State Overall Positive Test Percentages compared to State Population:
46. Vermont (18.23%)
47. Maine (17.24%)
48. Hawaii (16.79%)
49. Maryland (16.64%)
50. Oregon (16.57%)

5 Highest State Death Rate Percentages per Population from Covid:
1. Mississippi (0.412%)
2. Arizona (0.386%)
3. Alabama (0.383%)
4. Oklahoma (0.380%)
5. New Jersey (0.372%)

5 Lowest State Death Rate Percentages per Population from Covid:
T-46. Washington (0.159%)
T-46. Maine (0.159%)
48. Utah (0.130%)
49. Vermont (0.097%)
50. Hawaii (0.096%)

In December of 2020, the first Covid Vaccines were made available to the Public (as of now, anyone over the age of 5 is eligible).  Here are the 5 Highest and 5 lowest Vaccinated States:
5 Highest Vaccinated states:
1. Rhode Island (81% of the population fully vaccinated)
2. Vermont (80% of the population fully vaccinated)
3. Maine (79% of the population fully vaccinated)
T-4. Connecticut, Hawaii, and Massachusetts (78% of the population fully vaccinated)

5 Lowest Vaccinated States:
T-46. Arkansas & Idaho (53% of the population fully vaccinated)
T-48. Wyoming and Mississippi (51% of the population fully vaccinated)
50. Alabama (50% of the population fully vaccinated)

Compared to the rest of the industrialized world, the United States is lagging in Vaccinations rates.  While the US Fully Vaccinated rates is about 65%, many European countries have vaccination rates ranging from 70-90%.  Canada's vaccination rate is above 80%, while Australia and New Zealand are both approaching 80%. Even several Latin American countries have vaccination rates above 70%, including Chile, Cuba, Brazil, Argentina, and Costa Rica.

How long this pandemic lasts is an unknown.  We are likely in the last stages of this pandemic as it appears to be heading into a more endemic state, but when that transition occurs is unknown.

There is more that I will say in the weeks ahead, but for now, the numbers continue to rise in terms of Covid cases and deaths.

A Game-Changer of a Week

13 months into the Pandemic, a Week of Consequential Events have allowed me to finally glimpse life outside of the tunnel.  I have not reached the end of the tunnel, but I can see past the exit and begin to start making out what the post-pandemic world looks like.

7 days ago, I was preparing to get my 2nd Pfizer Coronavirus Shot. Of the members of my family, only my sister and a few of my in-laws had been fully vaccinated.  My parents had not even received a first shot, let alone a full vaccine.  Throughout my preparation for the 2nd shot, I was worried about a promise I had made to my parents. Would they listen to the pleas my older sister, Janet, and I had made to them? Could we finally get my parents to get the vaccine for a virus that was fatal, particularly among 80+ years olds like my parents are? Would I be able to see them one more time?

Ever since that apocalyptic nightmare come to life on the night of March 12th, 2020, I had approached life with a grim determination to try and slug through as best as I could.  As long as Liz and the kids were safe from the virus, I felt like I could do enough to prevent the virus from reaching me. Alot of my thinking was foolish, of course, but I felt like I could counter the increasing risk.  Mandating the wearing of masks helped in this cause, but never underestimate humanity's ability to counter scientific rational with irrational arrogance and stupidity.  I needed a simple way of remembering how to act in public in order to minimize my risk in contracting the coronavirus.

The answer to this was a method based on a Sermon series my local pastor had done in February, 2020. It was an acronym called C.A.R.E.  The acronym works like this:

C. - Confession/Contrition.  As a Lutheran, one of the first things we usually do in worship is confess our sins. It is our way of getting us in the mindset of worship.  Not only did I need to confess my sins before God, I needed to confess I was not in complete control of the situation.  God would determine my fate, and if I showed contrition and a willingness to do what it took to keep the virus personally at bay, maybe God would provide some good fortune.  
A. - Absolution.  The one part of the acronym that was totally out of my control.  I needed God's forgiveness and mercy to help clear my soul and head to know what to do in certain situations.
R. - Reconciliation. The hardest part of the acronym.  I needed to discern who was seeking the ability to reconcile and who was not.  If people were looking to listen and go back and forth with me in conversation and approach the situation with an open mind, that's who I wanted to speak with.  Those who had already made up their minds and who chose not to listen... I had to realize I am not going to reconcile with those people.  Stay aware from the heavy stuff with those people and focus more on light-hearted stuff.
E. - Empathy.  When I put on a mask, I make the assumption that I am an asymptomatic carrier of the coronavirus at all times. So it is my duty as a Christian to protect others.  I wear the mask in drive-thrus, sometimes when I am outside, anytime I enter a store or restaurant or church.  I wear it because my father taught me to do things like that. I also think of Jonah, Chapter 3 in the Bible... of how the people of Nineveh reacted to God's warning that the city was about to be destroyed... how they all tore their clothes and put on sackcloth and ash.  The mask has been my sackcloth and ash of sorts.  In a way, maybe God is trying to tell us to stop talking and start listening again. Listening is not a sign of weakness; it is a way to reach out and find out where others are hurting.  God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason after all.

For the better part of a year, C.A.R.E. is how I have operated.  It has not been perfect, but then again I am human. I have watched as others have mocked wearing of masks, not realizing it was the best option we had.  They have mocked lockdowns, not realizing that we need to buy time and figure out how to implement social distancing to minimize our chances of getting the virus.  Many felt indestructible; the virus has a 99% survivability, they claim.  But didn't Jesus say something looking out for the 1 over the 99 in the Gospels? And who is to say you are not going to be part of the 1?  I know people my age who are now or have been on life support because of this virus.  Their lives may never get back to normal... and those are the lucky ones.

As of this moment, this pandemic has produced the third highest pandemic death toll in US history and one of the Top 10 pandemic death tolls in Global History.  In the US, only the 1918 Flu Pandemic and the AIDS Pandemic (currently entering its 40th year) have produced higher death tolls.  Over 500000 deaths across a 365-day period of time.  It is nearly on par with heart disease and cancer deaths in the US.  And the thing is this disease is preventable, but we have failed to do the right things to keep the toll lower.

On Monday, as I got my 2nd Pfizer shot, I found out my parents had received the Johnson and Johnson vaccine.  I am not worried about them developing blood clots;  I am just glad they are on their way to being immune soon. Yesterday, my wife got her first vaccine shot.  We are now planning a trip to GA this summer to see my parents.  Just because I will have maximum immunity does not mean I will avoid being responsible.  I can't hide from life forever; the vaccine helps me gain more confidence to get back to a semblance of normalcy.

The day is coming soon when the pandemic will be declared over.  That day will begin a celebration that we have not seen in a long time. A revitalization of the human spirit, blessed by God himself.  Think the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, but on a global scale.  Oh, it's going to be fun.  Yes, we will mourn the loss of life as well.  We will need to find out what went wrong and try to make sure we don't let this happen again.  That will come in time.  Also, there will be a reckoning among those leaders who failed to do what is right and protect as many lives as possible (for starters, I am looking at certain Evangelical Christian leaders in the US who were more concerned with filled pews and offering plates than serving and helping in this time of crisis... they have been exposed as fake shepherds).

For now, everyone needs to still do their part to reduce the virus' chances of spreading.  Social distancing, wear a mask, be smart and safe... even if you have been vaccinated.  We will get to the end of the tunnel soon.  The party will wait until we are ready.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a long-awaited family trip to GA to reschedule.

Eulogy for a Comet Titan

On Friday, September 13th, Jeffery Michael Cwiek left this earthly realm at the young age of 45.  His passing, though not the first member of the South Gwinnett High School Class of 1992 to leave us, is perhaps the biggest loss from our childhood many of us have experienced. It didn't matter if you were his neighbor, his first love, his teammate, or just a casual friend... Jeff had an impact on many us, particularly those of us who grew up with him beginning at WC Britt Elementary.

We all have our Jeff Cwiek stories.  Gifted with the ability to succeed at whatever he put his mind to... athletics (he played soccer, basketball, baseball, football, etc.), academics, music, and, yes, even politics, Jeff was the kind of person that seem to have success no matter what he tried.  Some people could be insufferable with that kind of a gift.  Not Jeff.  Jeff seemed to enjoy being around other successful individuals in various areas.  He made it as cool to be a brainiac as much as it was to be a jock.  He seemed to bring people together in our journeys through Elementary, Middle, and High School.  He may not have always been the leader, but we all took our cues from Jeff.

I first met Jeff in 2nd Grade in the classroom and on the Soccer Fields of Briscoe Park.  While Jeff was clearly the better soccer player as he played forward while I played fullback, Jeff would challenge me in academics.  My strongest subject was Mathematics, and I felt I was the best student in the entire grade at Math at the time and one of the best overall students.  Jeff would push me in the classroom, especially in Math.  It was as if he wanted me to prove how good I was academically.  Somedays I got frustrated because I was overshadowed at times by Jeff's larger than life image.  But I began to eventually realize that Jeff's purpose was to make me earn the respect of my peers and to have confidence in my own abilities.

Jeff and I continued to be regular classmates, and in 5th Grade, we were classmates again in Ms. Lucky's Class.  By that time, it was clear that I was one of the smartest kids at Britt Elementary, though I still got into occasional trouble in the classroom.  I had also developed my musical talents, thanks to singing and playing the Piano.  5th Grade was when we tried the Recorder for the first time in the Fall.  Jeff could play the Recorder easily and he and I were among the best recorder players around.  But it was in the Spring that Jeff's musical talents really shone through.  Jeff and I were selected to sing a duet on the song "Camptown Races".  Jeff was the lead-off, and I sang second.  I thought I had my lines down pat in practice, but when it came time to sing for real, Jeff was ready, and I... well, I got egg on my face during the run-through with the 3-5 Grades in the audience.  I blew the second half of my lines.  It didn't matter that I got it right at the PTA Meeting or when we sang at Gwinnett Place Mall; I felt terrible blowing it in front of my peers.  What I didn't realize is that Jeff had stumbled through his lines as well.  It's just that Jeff knew how to continue singing as if nothing was wrong.  I had tried so hard to be perfect, that I had failed to realize the audience didn't care for perfection.  As long as you were confident, you could make the audience believe everything was OK.  Jeff knew this.  I learned it the hard way.  Redemption would come a few weeks later at Field Day.  I had never been a part of a winning team on Field Day.  Jeff made us believe we could be the best 5th Grade Class.  In the Egg Race, I would be the anchor of the team.  With Jeff encouraging me, I was determined to not let the egg drop, and I succeeded, helping our team to a critical victory in the Egg Race.  Meanwhile, Jeff would lead our Tug of War Team to victory in the main event.  At the end of the Field day, Lucky's Loose Lips had score the upset win, and Jeff was the kid who helped win it.

As the years progressed and we moved on to Snellville Middle and South Gwinnett High School, Jeff continued to flourish in the Classroom and on the Athletic Field.  He also got into politics as the Class President in 8th, 9th, and 11th Grades.  He and I would continue to meet in the classroom, and Jeff pushed me to continue being the best.  He pushed everyone, as a matter of fact.  He didn't care if he faced Brent Bailey, Jennifer Iredale, John Brown, Beth Fitzpatrick, myself, or anyone else.  Jeff was determined to make us prove how good we were.  He made Honor Rolls, and was regularly the best player on the field.  In High School, Jeff was an MVP, and a National Honors Society member.  He did it all:  one day he would play in a baseball game, the next day he was racing cars and stopping them on a dime for Science Team.  And as for making sleds for Physics... well, maybe I shouldn't get into detail about that.  When it was time to name Mr. Senior and Mr. Cometa in the Class of 1992, we all knew who deserved it.  Jeff won both.

One of the great High School Memories of Jeff occurred in the Spring of our Senior Year.  For three years, I had been the de facto leader of South's Math Team, winning individual county Trophies in each of my first three years. The Final County Tournament of my Career would occur on home turf and I was excited about it. For the first time, a group of my classmates joined Beth Fitzpartick and I in competing against the County's best and Jeff was there as well.  There was a great picture of Jeff and I reviewing a team Math Problem.  It was a perfect example of Jeff showing he could match wits with the best.  I had a bad day and South did not finish in the Top 3 as I had hoped, but it didn't matter.  I had the most fun at that Tournament, and it was because of classmates like Jeff lending a hand.

Of course, who could forget our High School Graduation? Because of the threat of rain Graduation night, the event was moved to First Baptist Church.  The seating was tailor-made for Jeff to be the center of attention that night, even though he had no active role in the event other than walking for his diploma.  He sat in the front role and high-fived multiple classmates as they received their HS diplomas.  I probably gave him the hardest hand-slap of my life as I walked towards Mr. Krug.  He also joined with the Senior Choir as they sang the Alma Mater song at the end of the ceremony.  Finally, he lifted me up on his shoulders and carried me out of the church like I was a victorious head coach.

With all the school success, Jeff never let it get to his head.  In fact, Jeff showed a great deal of respect to all, particularly the parents.  Jeff always referred to my parents as Mr. and Mrs. Walker and they appreciated his gesture.  Clearly, Jeff learned the respect of elders from his parents.

I want to close with two personal thoughts.  First, I choose to remember who Jeff was in School, not as an adult.  He could do so many things in the school days.  Girls loved him; guys respected him.  I don't recall him having any enemies at Britt or Snellville or South.  In a way, he wasn't just the soul of our class; he was our unifying force as well.  You don't believe me, look at who has come to pay their respects to him in Lawrenceville, and many more of us wish we could be there with you. 

Second, particularly among those of us from the Britt Family, Jeff influenced us.  We all took at least a piece of Jeff with us and many of us still carry a little of Jeff's personality even today.  I catch myself once in a while acting a little like him.  It's those memories and quirks of Jeff we will carry with us in the years ahead.

Jeff was among the brightest of stars, if not the brightest.  Sometimes, the brightest burn so brightly that they are never meant to complete a normal life cycle and disappear quicker than other stars.  But they have an impact.  We mourn with his sons; his brother, John and sister, Cindy; and with his mom.  We raise our glasses in honor and in memory of him.

Goodbye, my friend, and thank you.  We will see you again one day in the great beyond.

College Football 2018: Ohio (State) Vs. Everything…

The story of the 2018 College Football Season is not about Alabama’s quest for back-to-back titles… not about Clemson’s Defense which may be one of the best D’s in College Football History… not about Georgia’s quest to return to the Title Game for a second chance… not about Michigan finally getting the title shot promised when Jim Harbaugh was hired… not about Wisconsin or Washington proving they are playoff-worthy, etc.

If there are three people who best epitomize this year in College Football, it is three professional Wrestlers who hail from the western parts of the state of Ohio…  Jake and Dave Crist from Dayton, and Sam Johnson (aka Sami Callihan or Jeremiah Crane) from Bellafontaine.  Together the Crist Brothers and Sami form a Tag Team Trio known as oVe… Ohio Vs. Everything.  They wrestle in Impact Wrestling as heels, and are very talented athletic professional wrestlers.  To describe their ring attire is tough.  It’s a hint of goth mixed in with hints of sadistic culture, and they act always angry and very brutal (pro tip:  don't get caught alone in a bathroom with those three... especially if they have a video camera).  In short, they are a perfect symbolism of the forgotten parts of the rural Midwest… the parts that helped elect a certain person as President two years ago.

Ohio State and their fans are angry this year, even though the situation is of their own making.  They hired Urban Meyer six years ago thinking he would win Titles and mold men of virtue like he allegedly did with Tim Tebow at Florida.  They ignored the issues of Aaron Hernandez and other Florida players who acted badly in Gainesville under Urb’s Florida tenure.  And they ignored how one of Urb’s Assistants, Zach Smith, had treated his significant other at Gainesville.  Zach joined Urb in Columbus, and reports surfaced earlier this year that in 2015, Zach had physically assaulted his wife.  Smith was fired, so end of story, right?  Well, Urban handled that situation very poorly, and there are still questions as to what Urb knew and when he knew it.  A decade ago, such questions would seem irrelevant, but that was before Jerry Sandusky, before Larry Nassar, before Maryland and their issues.  As reporters pressed on Urb, he gave the impression he was hiding more than what was known.  Apparently, there was enough issues that Ohio State suspended Urb for the first three weeks of the season.

So Buckeye fans are angry… but not at Urb.  They are angry at the University for suspending Meyer.  They are especially angry at the media for reporting on this story (hmmm, that sounds familiar…).  And they are angry because they (and not eventual Champion Alabama) should have been in the playoff last season.  Professional Football stinks in Ohio.  Lebron has left them again.  Baseball is going nowhere.  Now the one thing Ohio has (Buckeye football) is under siege.  It’s everyone else’s fault.  Buckeye fans will make them ALL pay!

So, Ohio State has a huge chip on their shoulder in 2018.  And they are a wounded animal right now.  And that what makes this season all about how Ohio State responds to this crisis.  Two things can happen when a storm rages all about you (whether that storm is of your own making or not).  You can crack under the pressure.  Or you can circle the wagons and come out swinging.  If Ohio State falls apart while Urb is suspended, it is likely he will be fired after the season.  But I don’t think that will happen.  Ohio State will take an “Ohio Vs. Everything” approach this year.  I predict Ohio State will win all three games Urb is suspended.  They will finished the regular season undefeated, win the Big Ten Title, and will beat Alabama for the National Title in January.  My heart still wants Georgia to win it all, but my gut says Ohio State is OK with playing the heel and do what it takes to win it all.  After all, Urb above all things was brought in for one purpose:  win multiple titles.

For this year, O-H… I-O should be replaced with o-V-e as the popular chant in Columbus.  It is more indicative of Buckeye football and their fans in 2018.  This College Football season is truly about Ohio (State) vs. Everything.

Coming together to Grieve Another Life cut Short...

Six years ago, I lost a close friend to suicide.  Justin Ellis, who was my best friend from 5th Grade at WC Britt Elementary through Middle School and into High School succumbed to the demons that had haunted him for most of his life.  He was just 37 at the time of his death.

I blogged at the time that maybe I thought I could reach out to him if I knew he was in trouble. I wanted to believe I could make a difference.  But in the years since, I have come to the realization that no matter what I thought I could have done, I was not in a position to save Justin.  Not me, not his sister, not his true love.  As much as I thought I could have tried, if Justin had made the decision to go through with things, I could not have prevented his tragic ending.  Justin had to be the one to ask for help.  And sometime people are stubborn to ask for help.  I should know.

Sadly, another classmate has followed Justin’s path.  Unlike Justin, this classmate had a great supporting group of friends and family.  This person was one of our brightest lights.  There was no way I thought this person could take their own life.  No way, no how… And yet, here we are mourning a classmate gone too soon, again.

This classmates’ closest friends and family are devastated. Some knew depression was in her heart and wanted to help. Some knew she was hurting and tried to reach out. I am sure there are some guilty feelings out there in the Comet Community and some soul-searching.

It’s OK to think that you could have stopped this from happening.  But please do not beat yourselves up over what you could have done differently.  You did what you thought was best at the time.  It hurts, I know.  The only thing I can tell you is to remember the good about her.  There was much good in her.  We all knew that. 

This passing is going to hurt for a long time, especially to those closest to her.  The pain will show itself in unexpected ways at unexpected times.  I suspect her family will never completely get over the pain.  I know a close friend who lost her father to suicide some 20 years ago.  She is still not over it, and she’s a pastor.

I know some of you want to help her family out and that is good.  But please take some time to help yourselves in this time of pain.  Grieve, shed tears, remember.  Trying to work through it only bottles up the pain you are feeling and it will come out at inopportune moments.  Grieving doesn’t mean you are weak.  It means that your friend/family member mattered to you.  It means you are human and have a heart and care.  Do not worry what others think.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to get angry, do it.  If you need to talk, talk.  Whatever helps you to mourn.  Then, when you are ready, comfort those who need help to mourn.

There will come a time when we pick up the pieces and continue on with life.  But for now, let us show love for one another.  Maybe it’s time we stopped worrying about settling scores and winning at all costs.  Maybe it’s time we start acting like a community of friends again.  Maybe turn off the voices of people who shouldn’t matter and who think of you as nothing more than a rating’s number.  Listen to some music.  Meet friends for dinner to talk.  We could use a little more picking each other up and less tearing each other apart.  The judgmental attitudes can wait for another time.  It’s time to heal our broken hearts… again.