The Twilight of Hyper Patriotism

The era of Hyper Patriotism in our country is fading into History… and that may or may not be a good thing.

For much of the 21st-century, Hyper Patriotism has been a dominant theme in our national discourse. 

What is Hyper Patriotism you might ask? From online definitions, “Hyperpatriotism is an extreme, unquestioning devotion to one's country, often characterized by fanatical pride and the belief in the nation's absolute superiority. It tends to demand blind loyalty to the state, prioritizing national self-interest over universal ethical standards. Philosophical and political discussions emphasize that Hyper Patriotism significantly differs from healthy patriotism. While a traditional patriot may question the government to protect the country's core (democratic) values, a hyperpatriot views dissent as disloyalty and opposes accountability. The concept closely overlaps with jingoism and ultranationalism, and it frequently manifests as an aggressive hostility toward other nations or marginalized domestic groups.”

To understand how we got to this point of Hyper Patriotism, we must go back to a time where pride in our country was at a nadir. In the latter half of the Vietnam war, our country was divided among those who opposed the war and those who supported our troops. When the war ended in 1975, many returning soldiers faced open hostilities as they attempted to return to normal life. While there was a brief respite of renewed patriotism in 1976 as our country celebrated its bicentennial birthday, the feeling slipped away once the calendar turned to 1977. And, for the rest of the 1970s and into the 1980s, pride in our country was at a low. To be sure, there were brief moments of joy and celebration when something good would happen to our country. However, it was very noticeable on special holidays when my parents brought out the American flag and we would be one of the few in the neighborhood to do that.

In the early 1990s, with the first war in Iraq ending in a decisive victory coupled with the fall of the Soviet Union as well as the communist governments in eastern Europe, we seemed to get our patriotic swagger back. Even so, it was a kind of patriotism that was tempered with wanting to be a better country for all of our citizens. Throughout the 90s, we debated about our responsibilities as the lone standing superpower. As we approached the term of the millennium, we were still struggling with the questions.

One event changed the whole dynamic: 9/11.

After the events of that terrible September morning, seeing the Red White & Blue surged almost immediately. Everybody started to fly the flag at all times. We had car flags… Some of us had multiple on our vehicles. We paid homage to the policeman, the fireman, and the soldiers. We wanted vengeance and to settle the scores with those who we deemed our enemies.

But there was a dark side to our thirst in avenging the 3000 lives that were lost on 9/11. We began to do things that crossed the line into torture and abuse. Abu Ghraib ring a bell for anyone? We thought we had won the wars until hotspots began to show up. Those who began to question what we were doing were ostracized. Remember The (Dixie) Chicks? Ironic, considering that country music often talked less about our nation & more about personal struggles in the 1970s, 1980s, & 1990s… then 9/11 happened, and it turned Super Patriotic.

When we finally did remove the mastermind behind the terrorist attacks of September 11, I began to think that maybe we were starting to return to a sense of normality. I was wrong. It seemed like we continued to move on with ever increasing patriotic feelings that began to turn nationalistic. We began to start treating others who would come into our country as hostile. It didn’t matter if they were looking for a better life, they were not welcomed here.

It only continued to accelerate throughout the last decade. People wanted us to remember those who had given their lives and service to our country on every national holiday. We were told to never forget what happened on September 11. Then, we started to go after people who knelt during our national anthem… Or who wouldn’t put their hand over their heart… Or wouldn’t even sing along with our national anthem. We started asking that the national anthem be played at more and more things. Is it really necessary to play the national anthem before you shoot off fireworks or before a wedding? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing to play the national anthem to honor our country, but there is such a thing as overdoing it.

There’s something else I wanna point out. You may not like what I’m about to say, but I’m not wrong here. About 80% of this era of Hyper Patriotism is basically performance. All you have to do is look at houses that have faded US flags on them. Owners put up the flags to show that they’re proud of their country, and they leave it up there. They don’t understand that you are supposed to put the flag up in the morning and take it down at night and not fly it in the rain. You wanna show your pride in our country but you also need to protect the flag from the elements of wear and tear. The ravages of time cause the flag to fade. Sometimes those flags are even taken down by storms. Instead of retiring that flag and disposing of it in a respectful manner, many of these people just put the flag back up.

Or how about Memorial Day memes and posts about honoring those who have given their lives and service to our country. There’s nothing wrong with doing that, but many of the people who post this think that that is good enough for them to then go to the beach or to the lake or to the mountains. They figured they did their honoring in their post and not do anything like actually going to a memorial or a cemetery to honor those who fought and died for our country. Many of these people also do similar posts on the Fourth of July. Again, there is nothing wrong with that, but if you think that’s all you need to do to honor our country, then you are mistaken. Real devotion to this country and honor of this country requires more than just paying lip service so you can avoid being harassed by the “patriot police”.

See, when I choose to honor this country, I take many steps to prove it. When I fly the flag, it is on certain special days, like Memorial Day weekend, the Fourth of July weekend, Presidents’ Day, Veterans Day, and a few other national holidays. I put the flag up in the morning and take it down at night. I also do not fly the flag when there is weather. Amazingly, my flag still looks pretty good even after owning it for well over 15 years, but I do my best to honor the flag by taking care of it. It’s something I learned from my dad.

There’s more… When I choose to honor those who have given their lives and service to our country, it’s more than just me posting quaint words on social media. It’s wearing Poppy pins on Memorial Day weekend as a symbol of those who gave all. It’s actually taking time out of Memorial Day weekend to go to memorials or to national cemeteries to pay our respects to the fallen. A lot of the lessons that I learned came from personal experiences in my travels around the globe and seeing how other nations honor their soldiers who fought and died for their country.

With this year being the 250th birthday of our country, I also decided to step up and show my patriotic pride and wear unique red white and blue outfits. I know the times are tough, but if I can do something to highlight patriotic pride & give encouragement in these times, I’m willing to help out. But it also means that I have to be critical when things aren’t going well. See, that is an aspect of being a patriot to our country I’ve also learned these lessons over the years from friends and family.

I was very interested to see how people would treat Memorial Day and the 250th anniversary of the Fourth of July this year. To be honest, there was little activity on my social media feeds over Memorial Day weekend, even by those who are veterans or married to soldiers. July 4th was even worse. A few posts that I saw recognizing the anniversary of our nation’s independence was mostly AI generated. Now, I understand that life gets in the way of many things, but given how people have acted over the years, you would’ve thought there would’ve been more effort to celebrating the Fourth of July and remembering Memorial Day especially this year. Was I disappointed by the lack of effort? I was. Was I surprised by it? Not at all.

Reasons like what I just stated above are why I believe the era of hyper patriotism in our land is in its twilight stages. It just feels like anybody who is celebrating is going through the motions right now. it didn’t seem like anybody really wanted to put their heart into doing things. They decided to take the easy way out. Take that as you see it.

In just a few short weeks, we will commemorate the 25th anniversary of the event that began this era of hyper patriotism… 9/11. Once again, many people will do the same thing that they have done on social media over the last several years… They will copy a picture of either the firefighters raising the flag on 9/11 or what the towers looked like on 9/10. They will pretend that they haven’t forgotten about that day. Here’s my problem, though… you’ve had 25 years to go and pay your respects to those who lost their lives on that terrible morning and yet you haven’t. Why? 

I’ve always appreciated those who have posted their own pictures of either what the towers looked like before the fall or of one of the memorials that honor those who lost their lives on that day. How many of you have seen the lights emanating from where the towers stood? Or have visited the WTC memorial in lower Manhattan? Or have visited the flight 93 memorial in Shanksville? It’s one thing to copy pictures off of the Internet… It’s another to share your memories from the towers before they fell or visit the memorials that have come up since.

So what ends up replacing the era of hyper patriotism? Well, that answer is not so simple because there are two options in terms of how this goes that are very likely, and a third that is far less likely. You see, the enemy of any era is the one thing that no one can control… Time. The further away you are from a moment, the less and less you care about it, unless you were personally involved in the moment. Eventually, other things get in the way, and you either (1) tend to forget or (2) force yourself to remember in such a way that you lose the meaning of why you’re doing it. 

The first option will eventually lead to a gradual decline of patriotism, and showing off our pride. Many don’t want to admit it, but the patriotic burnout is real, and if not addressed soon, it will lead to a malaise where people wonder why we’re going through the motions of displaying our pride it in the first place. The second option gives rise to a kind of nationalism where we are obligated to force ourselves to honor the country, even when we’re doing things wrong. That is an even more dangerous path than option 1, but I see evidence every day that many people want to go down that way.

The longshot scenario is actually the one I am hoping for… Because I don’t wanna see a lack of passion of caring about our country, but I also don’t wanna see us praise our country at all times without proper criticism. Proper criticism is actually healthy for our country in that it focuses us to try and be a more perfect union. It means holding ourselves responsible in trying to be a shining beacon for the rest of the world. We haven’t been doing a good job with that over the last 25 years. And unfortunately, time is running out…

If another national tragedy happens to our country right now, I don’t think the entire nation will rally together. We are too divided. Nearly half of the country would immediately be suspicious of whether the event actually happened. Our best chance is to have a genuine national dialogue where we’re not calling each other names… Where we’re willing to admit our own fallacies, as well as offering legitimate solutions to what is wrong. We have to reengage the true patriots and seek wisdom from those who have experience.

In closing, I do believe in our country. I believe in the liberty AND justice FOR ALL espoused in the pledge of allegiance. Throughout our 250 year history, we have worked to be a better nation. Let us engage in the great conversation needed to help keep this country moving forward.

Memorial Day 2025: Of Poppies, Patriotism Made in China, Fallen Old Glory, & Memes…

We are well in the middle of Patriot Season in the US. For those of you unfamiliar with this terminology, this season begins at the beginning of May and continues through early July. During this time, we celebrate Military Appreciation month (May), as well as Memorial Day, Flag Day, and the Fourth of July. Many stores have sections dominated by red white and blue items. Hats, earrings, bakery items, plates, utensils, cups, etc. are just some of the things with a US based theme.

Over the weekend, my wife talked to me about looking at a flower arrangement for our church from Memorial Day weekend. She was looking for a red, white, and blue setting. She admitted that she might be overthinking this because the current arrangement we had up at the altar was appropriate for the Easter season we are now in, but not for Memorial Day. I told her that if you were going to do this flowers setting correctly, you needed red poppies. Poppy flowers are a global symbol that recognizes soldiers who gave their lives in war time for their country. You will see poppy flower pins especially during Memorial/Remembrance Day observances. As a matter of fact, I have several poppy pins to wear in just such times.

My wife and I agreed to go to Michael’s to look for poppy flowers to place in a floral setting up at the altar. We got to Michael’s, and found the flower section. I was disappointed to see how very little poppies were available… But it was understandable considering how we as a nation don’t really wear poppy pins on Memorial Day weekend.

As I was looking around the store, I noticed the USA section. Just out of curiosity, I took a look at several of the items. I wanted to see where many of these patriotic items were made. Sadly, I discovered that nearly all of these patriotic items were made in China. The next day, I stopped by a Walmart and found that nearly all of the patriotic items at that store were also made in China. I understand why most of our USA themed gear is made in China, but I’m still saddened by it.

This got me thinking on a couple of levels…

First, since 9/11, many Americans have put flags up in front of their houses (and in the back of their houses) to symbolize their love of country. Now I put the flag up at our house, but I only do it during national days (like Memorial Day, Flag Day, the Fourth of July, and Veterans Day). For many of the people that have the flag up daily, they never take it down. That can be a problem when storms or high winds come through the area. Last Friday was just such an occasion… And one of the flags did fall to the ground at a neighbor’s house. I noticed that the flag stayed on the ground for over 36 hours before the homeowner finally picked it up and put it back on the pole that it didn’t fallen off of. Of course, if an American flag falls to the ground, you are supposed to retire that flag and dispose of it in an honorable manner. That’s not what happened in this case.

Secondly, why is it that we buy or put up patriotic items (even those cheap ones that are made in China) to publicly show our patriotism… only to forget about it just as quickly as we put it up or use the items? Maybe that’s not the way things are, but the perception is that our patriotism is just for decorative/show purposes. It feels like at times that we go through the motions on Patriotic Days so that we don’t get called out for our “lack of patriotism“.

One of the ways that we tend to attempt to show patriotism is by posting memes on Memorial Day weekend to remind everyone to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country. I always felt like it came off cheap… Like many post the meme about honoring the troops, and then go off and do fun time after that… barbecues, going to the beach, family get togethers, etc. I’m always the kind of person that if you talk to talk, you better walk the walk.

A few years ago, I decided to put my money where my mouth was. My family and I went to Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day weekend to pay our respects in person to those in particular who gave their lives in service for our country. It was a moving and incredible experience to be there. We even got to lay flowers at the tomb of the unknown soldier. It was a day that my family will never forget. Maybe one Memorial Day weekend in the future, we can visit other memorials in the DC area.

One such memorial is the Vietnam Memorial wall. It is one of the most powerful and moving monuments ever created in our national tapestry. It is like looking at the name of a loved one who lost their lives during that conflict and instantly seeing the image of who they were just before they died. They were in the prime of their lives… their strongest, their fastest, their most intelligent, etc. They’re perfectly described in the “Ode of Remembrance” by Sir Laurence Binyon:

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

Maybe the Vietnam Memorial wall isn’t something that you would want to visit if you go to Washington DC. But I can assure you, having visited that memorial twice, it is one of the most moving and impactful memorials in our nation. Every American citizen should visit that memorial at least once in their lifetime. 

As we approach another Memorial Day weekend, I’d like to offer a little piece of advice. Before you go out posting memes of how we should honor those who have fallen, consider finding a way to honor those who gave their lives in service to our country. Don’t worry about what others are or aren’t doing. Make sure you are walking the walk.

(By the way, if you do decide to complain about your church not having patriotic flowers up on the altar this weekend, just make sure I’m not within earshot. I won’t be hard to find. I’ll be the one wearing the red poppy pin. *)

“Lest we forget.”

*- If you wanna look for a red poppy pin to wear for Memorial Day, and don’t want to go through the Amazon route, might I recommend the American Legion’s website. 

The MAHA Gamble of a Declining Restaurant Chain…

Steak ‘n Shake has been a restaurant that I have frequently visited many times in my adult life. The restaurant chain, which came into existence in 1934 in Normal, Illinois, eventually expanded throughout large portions of the Midwest, and even into the Deep South… where my first experience with the chain occurred as a kid in the early 1980s just outside of Atlanta. The chain mostly disappeared from sight for a while in Atlanta, so it wasn’t until college that I came across the chain again… This time in northern Indiana. My first real adult memory of Steak ‘n Shake occurred as I was visiting my sister Sheri at her home, just east of Mishawaka, Indiana. I remembered getting a steak burger with fries and vegetable beef soup. It was like comfort food to me.

Over the years when I would visit my parents down in Georgia, I would occasionally visit the Steak ‘n Shake that had opened in my hometown around the turn of the century. My favorite sandwich was the triple steak burger. There would also be multiple Steak ‘n Shakes in route from Baltimore to Atlanta and back. As a result, there were several opportunities to enjoy the restaurant… Even though there were not any Steak ‘n Shakes within about 350 miles of Baltimore at the time.

As I got married and had a family of my own, we would occasionally drive to Georgia and I would introduce them to the restaurant. By all accounts, they loved the place. Soon work trips to North Carolina would give me additional chances to go visit Steak ‘n Shake. I also learned that the restaurant was getting closer to Baltimore as they opened up a place between Richmond and Washington DC. Then I heard the news that I was waiting for: Steak ‘n Shake was finally coming to Maryland and coming to a place near where I lived.

When Steak ‘n Shake finally opened in Maryland in 2015, the drive-thru was swamped with customers like myself who wanted to reexperience what a steak burger was like. In time the crowds died down, and that gave us an opportunity to finally eat in the restaurant. I was so happy that they were there.

But behind the growth and expansion of Steak ‘n Shake, they lurked dark problems. For one thing, their financial situation had been bad for many years. Despite growth in profits from 2008 to 2016, the restaurant had failed to keep up with the changing demands of the public. Starting in 2016, those changing demands finally hit home. Competition from places like Chipotle and Culver’s started eating away at Steak ‘n Shake’s demand. Steak ‘n Shake would make a fateful decision in 2018 making all of their restaurants franchise owned. Around that time, the owner of Maryland’s only Steak ‘n Shake ran into serious financial problems, and the restaurant was closed for about a year. Then came the pandemic… Which really hurt Steak ‘n Shake. It appeared that the restaurant would be a major casualty of the pandemic. Then Steak ‘n Shake made a number of additional fateful decisions. In 2021, they decided to go away from the fast casual restaurant model… And become a fast food restaurant. Also, Steak ‘n Shake got rid of the cashiers for dining in and went to all touchscreen kiosks for customers to place their orders. Steak ‘n Shake would also simplify their menu and got rid of several things that made the place unique. The results would further damage the restaurant chain.

I had noticed for many years going into Steak ‘n Shake that very few of them were crowded. I wondered if the restaurant could stay in business if they weren’t drawing more people to it. The answer to that thought came in the immediate aftermath of the pandemic. Steak ‘n Shake franchisees began shutting down across the east coast of the United States. States like New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware… and yes, even my current state of Maryland, closed up all Steak ‘n Shakes. In fact, the first Steak ‘n Shake I would run into while driving to Atlanta would be in the Charlotte Metro area… Over 450 miles away from Baltimore.

Today, Steak ‘n Shake is now only available in 22 states. And while there are still numerous locations across states like Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Georgia, and Florida, the restaurant has declined. New burger restaurants have begun to expand. Culver’s has been a continuing thorn in the side of Steak ‘n Shake. But it is another chain of steak burger restaurants called Freddy’s, that has really been a thorn in Steak ‘n Shake’s side. Freddy’s is in a lot more locations and is now going into Steak ‘n Shake’s turf.

It is clear that Steak ‘n Shake needs to do something to shake up interest in their restaurants. What they have decided to do is take a huge gamble based on the politics of the day.

With the return of Donald Trump to the White House, Robert F Kennedy Jr… a man who does not believe in the conventional ways of keeping people healthy… has become the health and human services secretary. Among the things that RFK2 opposes is using seed oil for fast food fryers. He has claimed that beef tallow is actually healthier. He has no proof of this, but that hasn’t stopped him from projecting this theory onto the American landscape. And Steak ‘n Shake has noticed. On March 1, Steak ‘n Shake became the first American chain in several years to reintroduce beef tallow grease for fryer usage across all their restaurants. In addition, Steak ‘n Shake just announced that they were switching to pure butter instead of a buttery blend for their sandwiches (which included seed oils) and intend to have that at all their restaurants by April 2. In a recent interview on Fox, RFK2 went to a Steak ‘n Shake to promote the restaurants efforts with beef tallow in what amounted to an infomercial for the chain. As a result, many allies of President Donald Trump have gone on social media to sing the praises of Steak ‘n Shake’s change. 

What does this mean for the future of Steak ‘n Shake? It could possibly mean a short-term boost in sales as allies of the president could convince his voting base in the 22 states that do have Steak ‘n Shake restaurants to go and visit. However, the long-term effects are likely unstable at best. If customers do not think the latest change makes their fries or onion rings, or chicken tenders taste better, it could be the last gasps of a dying restaurant chain that will eventually join the likes of Sambo‘s, Howard Johnson’s, Burger Chef, and many other chains. Only time will tell if Steak ‘n Shake’s latest gamble will work.

The next time that my family will have an opportunity to visit a Steak ‘n Shake will be in late June, when my family will go on a road trip to SW Ohio. Will we seek out the chance to visit Steak ‘n Shake with all these changes? We shall see.

A "Homecoming" Back to my Roots

On my South Gwinnett High School Letter Jacket, the left side contains Nine Medals. What the medals represented in my school during my time there was that you were the best student in a particular subject. For example, anyone who truly knows me knows that Math was my favorite subject... and three of the Medals were for being the top student in Algebra II (Sophomore Year), Trigonometry (Junior Year), an AP Calculus AB (Senior Year).

Social Studies was considered a great equalizer at my school.  As a Freshman, you were required to take a semester of Civics (World Geography was the other class you took for a semester, but it was not considered Social Studies). As a Sophomore, you took World History for a full year and Economics for a Semester. As a Junior, you took US History for a full year. There was a Senior year course as well, but it was considered an elective. There were also AP Courses for World and US History. So, only a handful of members of the Class of 1992 would have been awarded Medals in Social Studies... you could probably count the number of Social Studies medal winners in my class on two hands, maybe even one. I won two medals... one for top AP World History student, and one for top US History student. I only know of one other member in my class to win two Social Studies medals... unironically, it was our Class Salutatorian, Kim (Julian) Bowden (she was the top World History Student and Top AP US History student).

History to me is so important. For one to understand how we got to the present, it is important to understand the road(s) we came from.  Our roots (whether National or personal) are a part of who we truly are. Since the pandemic began in 2020, I have yearned to return back to my roots... to return to the places I have lived. I seem to gain a sense of new energy when I tap into my roots and REMEMBER who I was in those places. 

Before I moved to Maryland in 1996, I lived in three places... Decatur, Georgia; Snellville, Georgia; and Valparaiso, Indiana where I attended College. The easiest place to return to was Snellville.  My parents (until their passings in 2022 and 2023) lived in the same house since we had moved to that "little town where life is a thrill" back in 1979. So, I could walk into my old room, walk around the street, and remember who I was as a kid.  My parents hated the idea of me driving back to my original home in Decatur... it was too dangerous, they said.  But in 2021, I drove back to the original house with my family and showed them where I lived as a small child. A flood of memories came back to me as I showed them the house.  The house has changed over the years; for example, the screened-in back porch is now gone (given what I know about house infrastructure these days... good riddance to that back porch).

Remembering the past also forced me to do something else. I felt in some cases that I needed to address some things I did wrong. I made mistakes and misjudgments in my younger years, and on one such trip, I went to visit a friend who I felt I had treated unfairly in High School. It turned out to be a most necessary trip as that friend gave me some pretty sound advice. While the advice focused on the women from my past helping me prepare for Liz's arrival into my life in 2004, it was a microcosm to a much larger point: every place I had lived in and every friend I had known helped shape me into the person I am right now.

For a while, I had not been given much of an opportunity to revisit my college home or see my Best Friend in Chicago. But with my Best Friend turning 50, I had an excuse. So I pinged his wife about planning a surprise visit. I was informed that he wanted to play his 50th birthday as low key (bummer); however, his son was getting awarded status as being an Eagle Scout and I was invited. Yep, I was heading back to Chicago.

With Valparaiso University being such a short (yet, painfully slow) drive from Chicago, I realized that I had to return "home" and visit. Valparaiso University wasn't just my College Home... my Dad and one of my sisters also attended the Alma Mater.  Visiting Valpo also meant giving a donation in memory of my father.

So I went to Valpo immediately after arriving in Chicago on Friday afternoon. While it was tempting to just walk immediately to Kretzmann Hall and drop off the donation where I thought I was supposed to go, I was aware that things probably no longer worked that way. So, I stopped off at the new Visitors Center and asked for help.  After a short wait that felt like forever, the donation was delivered into the right hands.

Walking around a nearly empty campus that was still over a week away from Student Arrivals/Returns was an incredible feeling. I could go walk into any building I wanted to. I was unimpeded for the most part, and that freedom left me with a feeling like I was a kid in a Candy Store with unlimited money to spend. Knowing the responsibility I had to "clean up after myself", I only went into certain buildings.  I avoided the Dorm Rooms I lived in: Wehrenberg, Brandt, and Alumni.  I did briefly visit with the Dean of the College of Engineering (he was a classmate of my brother-in-law). 

After the initial walk around the East Side of Campus, I came to its heart... the Chapel of the Resurrection. I quickly realized I was all alone (there was staff in the adjacent Helge Center, but the Chapel itself was empty). The Church was in shape as it was readied for a new School Year. Here was my chance to see the Chapel in its perfect form... and I took advantage, snapping pictures that you could put in a brochure. Then I started up to the Altar to pray.  But I stopped after taking just a couple of steps up. I realized I did not need to go right up to the Altar. So I turned around and sat in one of the rows of chairs and, for a little while, absorbed the surroundings before I said a prayer for my family. It felt right.

After my Chapel visit, I moved onto the new Student Union, known as Harre Hall. Dr. Al Harre was President of Valparaiso University during my time at the school. He began the modern transformation of the university to a more pedestrian-friendly campus. Using the chapel as the centerpiece, new facilities such as the center for arts, a new library, and a new student union were built during his tenure. The new Student Union is different from its predecessor.  Certain things are gone, but the ability to eat, stretch out, relax, and even study in its confines is something I appreciate in my current age. The Bookstore & Gift Shop is a huge upgrade and I had to buy some merchandise for the family.

After spending time in Harre Hall, a quick stop at the University library and Mueller Hall followed. In Mueller Hall, I found something that I was looking for... the bust of OP Kretzmann. Of course, I had to rub his nose for good luck. Finally, I went to the western part of campus… To places that once were there in my time, but now are gone. I also swung by my fraternity house… But unfortunately, no one was home. Still, it was good to take in the entire University experience once again after a 17 year absence.

My time with my university roots was not completely done, however. I then headed to the Western suburbs of Chicago to spend the weekend with my college roommate of two years and best friend. Though it felt like I was going from one place to another throughout the weekend, I never felt rushed. It was good to play golf with my friend again, to hear his wife preach on Sunday morning, and to witness his son being awarded the title of Eagle Scout. Even though my best friend and I don’t always see eye to eye on things, we will always be brothers.

As I left Chicago to fly back to Baltimore, I felt a new sense of energy flowing through me. Reconnecting with my college roots was the best thing that could happen. 

Some people say that they would like to forget about the past, and others say that the past is not as important as the future. And sometimes we forget that, in glamorizing our roots, the places of our childhood and college years held many dark secrets. Decatur was in a state of flux when I was born, so I never knew its dark secrets. But I know the dark secrets of Snellville and Valparaiso. That said, I will always love those places, and I am glad to see they are in better mental states than what they once were.

While there is truth in the fact that “You can’t go home again”, the past is often times the road leading to your future. I know for some people that the past is a reminder of moments of pain & failure. But in my past failures, I see lessons to learn in order to help me become a better person. I choose to face my past and accept it. It has help mold me into the person that I am… Both my good moments and bad moments. 

Reconnecting with my roots helps remind me of the friends who have helped me along the way. This trip helped renew my spirit, and going forward. I will need all the energy I can muster to face the days ahead.

Rogue Corner (Taylor’s Version)

Less than a year ago, I was watching social media posts from my friends in Georgia and Florida on how they and/or their daughters were attending the Taylor Swift concerts taking place in February, and in March. I laughed at the TikTok videos, showing Swifties storming Marta trains after one of her concerts. I also laughed at dads being grateful for not having family members in the middle of those concerts.

As I was reading the posts about the concerts, I couldn’t help but think that I had seen this before. Sure enough, 3 1/2 decades earlier I recalled similar scenes when I was in eighth grade when there was a boy band by the name of New Kids on the Block. Many of my female classmates swooned over the members of that group and bragged about how they attended the concerts at the Omni in Atlanta or at Georgia Tech. And yes, they all bought the band T-shirts. For the record, I hated New Kids… Yes, I was jealous of that band.

What I didn’t realize then was that they had something in common with the Swifties of today. Now, for the record, I don’t consider myself a Swiftie. However, I can truly appreciate what a special talent and what a special person Taylor Swift is. But, what New Kids and Taylor have in common isn’t just restricted to those two entities. In fact, you could say they have something in common with a lot of successful musicians who have had a lot of female fans… Frank Sinatra, Elvis, The Beatles, The Jacksons, Prince, Madonna, New Kids, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, and Taylor Swift… At one time or another, all these musicians have brought joy to the hearts of young women of their day in their unique musical storytelling ways. The difference is what these musicians are telling their female audience in their storytelling. While “the boys” are trying to win the hearts of their fans through beautiful ballads, “the girls” speak to their audience about their experiences, struggles, loves, heartbreaks, etc. From my perspective, Taylor appears to be the most complete musical storyteller out there talking about the overall experiences of young ladies… & she can tell these stories in ways that use elements of showmanship of those who have come before her. One minute, she can mimic Madonna or Katy Perry, the next you see her playing like Billy Joel or Elton John on the piano, the next, she is like the Beatles on her guitar, and so on.

To be fair, Taylor has been honing her craft for two decades. She began her music career in Nashville performing country music. She would make the jump from country to pop music very early in her career. She has been a successful artist, both financially and critically. Her albums and concerts have made her a billionaire and she is one of 4 artists to have won 3 Album of the Year Grammys. (She could actually break that tie this weekend as her latest album, Midnights, is up for Album of the Year honors at the Grammys.) It is safe to say that Taylor is the most popular musician in the World at this moment. It is a major reason why Time magazine named her Person of the Year in 2023.

On top of that, Taylor is dating one of the top tight ends in the National Football League. Now Taylor’s romantic life has been the basis for a number of her songs. But this relationship appears to be different. Both Taylor and her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, have been very supportive of each other. He has gone to her concert in Brazil, and she has watched many of Travis’s games this season… including the playoffs.

So with everything seemingly going Taylor’s way and her ability to spread joy to the hearts of young women, you would think that people would be happy for her… but that is not totally the case. Like my jealousy of New Kids over 35 years ago, many are jealous of Taylor. Much of that jealousy is from men who perceive Taylor as a threat. She has power… power to use her legion of fans in ways that could be detrimental to their beliefs. As a result, many commentators (predominantly right-wing commentators) have criticized Taylor for being spotlighted at NFL games… the irony being that these people critical of Taylor are the same people supposed to be boycotting the NFL over players kneeling during the anthem, and other “transgressions”. It’s kind of sad to see these commentators pander to a crowd that hates & can never find joy.

We have just gone through a very traumatic time in the history of the world… and many people are yearning for joy again. Through her music, Taylor has brought that joy to a large segment of people like several of her musical contemporaries who came before her. She is a positive role model for a lot of young girls and women. There are a lot of Taylor-haters out there in the world, but I don’t count myself as one of them. I’ve learned my lessons from the past. No longer am I jealous of those who bring joy… In fact, I seek joy whenever I can. Seek the joy. Be the joy. Joy is an emotion that helps heal, and we could all use some healing right now. And Taylor is a healer. Picking a fight with Taylor? Well, you’re just asking for trouble. Take it from someone who knows.

Old Family Recipes & Holiday Memories

 Old family recipes serve a number of purposes. These recipes, which are passed from generation to generation, not only provide food that taste wonderful, but the spirit of multiple generations is put into those recipes. The result is not just food, but memories of times long ago.

In my family, the recipe that is most associated with the holidays is called 24 hour salad. This recipe goes back five generations to my grandmothers family. The story goes that many years ago a recipe was provided to allow for families to make a fruit salad that was effectively ambrosia. The key was that it was chilled for 24 hours and once ready for eating, the salad could last for several days.

As a young kid, I watched my mom make the salad for Thanksgiving day, and for Christmas Day. As I grew older, I started becoming involved in the making of the salad to a point that, when I finally moved to Maryland, I was ready to make the family fruit salad on my own.

Making the salad over the years brings back a lot of memories that I had growing up. But two of my favorite memories occurred about 25 and 19 years ago. In late December of 1998, my whole family gathered for Christmas at my sister Sheri‘s house. It was rare for my family to gather together for Christmas once my sisters and I became adults. But earlier in 1998, my sisters and I agreed that we should spend Christmas with Sheri‘s family, and that we should get my parents up there as well. Everyone agreed and so we gathered for Christmas in Illinois that year.

A lot of good memories occurred that Christmas, but my favorite was on Christmas Eve morning when the adults of the family gathered in the kitchen for cooking and making dinner for the following day. My job was to make the 24 hour salad but no less than six adults were in the kitchen at one time … Talking and remembering the past as we were cooking. I stopped now and then to just listen and take in the moment because I knew how special that Christmas Eve morning was. My sisters with their significant others, my parents, and I all working together while the kids mostly slept upstairs.

The second memory occurred on Thanksgiving day in 2004. I had been dating my future wife for about six months when her family invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. I told him I would come under the condition that I brought a dish. By then, I had mastered making the 24 hour salad, so I knew it would turn out well. The question was would my girlfriend’s family like the salad? The answer came pretty quickly. They loved it, and my future mother-in-law asked me for the recipe. Ultimately that recipe was put in our church cookbook in 2008, and it was credited to my grandmother and her family.

This year I will be making the salad again, but there are two changes that have occurred this year to make it more poignant. This will be the first holiday season without my parents. My sisters and I are now the keepers of this recipe. The second change, is that one of the main ingredients of the salad is no longer being made, and as a result, I am forced to find substitutes. Nevertheless, I have all the ingredients ready to make the salad on the day before Thanksgiving. As I am making the salad, I’m sure a lot of memories of holidays past will come flowing back. And that’s the point of these old recipes. Not only are you making good food for family and friends, but you’re also remembering wonderful times of the past. Soon, I will pass that recipe to Joshua & Lydia… and the tradition will continue.

Not this year…

I’m too tired. 

I’m too tired to be angry. 

I’m too tired to “never forget“. 

I’m just emotionally drained. 

For the last 22 years, I’ve had to live with the failure that happened on that day. It’s my job. The only people that have had it worse than I have are those who lost loved ones on that terrible day, and those who served our country in uniform during that time and spent months away from their families... either to defend our country from another attack or having to go halfway across the world to confront those responsible.

But the last 3 1/2 years have drained me to a breaking point. I need to rest. 

Those who planned that day are dead. Their organization is a shell of what it once was. They never launched the next phase… the bigger punch against us (like a dirty bomb) that we feared they were going to.

To be fair, we still keep an eye out. One horrible day is one horrible day too many. 

But seeing the same picture, over and over and over again, and being reminded to never forget… 

You don’t have your own personal picture of those buildings before they fell? You haven’t taken a picture of the spotlight beams going up into the sky where the buildings once stood? You haven’t gone to New York or PA and visited at least one of the Memorials? 

I remember the day I visited the towers. It was a cold March day. We had to take multiple elevators just to get up to the observation deck on the 107th floor. I remember trying to go up to the rooftop, but it was closed off. I took picture facing South, East, & North. It was a wonderful memory.

That horrible day made me find the pictures of the wonderful day. I’ve posted the memory of the wonderful day over the years as a counterbalance… a positive remembrance.

But I also remember how we got to that horrible day. That horrible day did not happen as an isolated moment.

I remember those we lost in Mogadishu.

I remember those we lost in the Khobar Towers.

I remember those we lost in Kenya & Tanzania.

I remember those we lost aboard the USS Cole.

I remember Madrid & London which happened after.

I remember the day we finally removed the mastermind of all of it… and the day we removed the other one.

I choose to “Remember”… what the buildings once were & who the people we lost on that day were… & not to “Never Forget” the pain & anger I felt on that day. 

I haven’t had a good night sleep in a long time. For too long, I was driven by what I was seeing on the “news”. And it made me angry… as it was designed to do. No more. It’s too much.

Not this year… not after I lost both my parents. Not after I have lost dear friends. 

If you want to be angry at me because my words hit too close, it’s your prerogative… but know that I’m not the real reason you are angry.

Maybe we all need to get 50 miles outside our comfort zones. Maybe we need to close our mouths & open our ears & hearts again to hear our neighbors, coworkers, & friends. Maybe we need to celebrate even the little happy moments more… moments that truly unite us. Because happiness rejuvenates us. Joy is a powerful force.

Reliving the same pain over & over won’t move us forward. 

Never forget? How about Remembering those we lost on that day & strive to be better people in their memory? How about just showing kindness again? That is when we are at our best.

But for now… maybe I can catch up on sleep. I’m just too tired. Not. This. Year.