Guilt and mourning the death of a childhood friend…

When I was trying to inform people about the SGHS Class of 1992 20th Reunion earlier this year, it seemed like many of my classmates were already invited.  I only informed a few people that graduated with me about the Reunion, and only one person that I can recall I invited was able to attend. 

There was one person I didn’t pass the information off to because I didn’t know how to classify him.  He attended South Gwinnett High School, but he left Snellville before Graduation.  His name was Justin Ellis, and many of you in South Gwinnett’s Class of 1992 knew him.  I sent him an E-Mail in January telling him I was going to be in the Greensboro, NC area in February, and that I would have liked to visit with him.  I was hoping to talk with him about the Reunion personally then.  The visit never happened, and things got too busy with my family afterwards to follow up.  He occasionally posted to Facebook during the year, but the last post I noticed was July 4th.  It wasn’t a big deal; Justin was an infrequent visitor to Facebook.  His account would go active, then deactivate frequently.  His birthday was at the end of August, and I wished him Happy Birthday.  I never got a response, and I didn’t think much of it.  As I said, Justin would go weeks without saying anything on Facebook.

On Columbus Day, I was checking my friends list.  Justin’s name popped up and I decided to check in on his page and see if he had posted anything recently.  I was not prepared for what I saw.  I found out to my shock via friends of his that Justin had died almost two weeks before the Class Reunion, and that the information provided points to an apparent death by suicide, the details of which are still unknown to me at this time.  My friend from Snellville Middle School and most of South Gwinnett High School was 37 when he died.  He left behind two kids from a previous marriage.

On one level, I guess the fact that I was ignorant of this news when I attended the Reunion was tragic, yet ironically had a silver lining.  Had I known about Justin’s death before the Reunion, I would have been in a much more somber mood.  And I feel on some level Justin wouldn’t have wanted me to mourn his passing at the Reunion.  But I still feel that had I known he was in trouble, I would have reached out to him more.  Yes, I know we say that in hindsight and it’s a crap line.  And yes, Justin and I weren’t as close as we once were—we did not go our separate ways from South under the best of terms.  But we sometimes wonder what we could have done differently to save someone from taking their life.  It’s human nature, and it sucks because survivors of a suicide can carry that guilt around the rest of their days.

To be fair, some of Justin’s demons were well-known to me.  He had issues with his Mom going back years.  He lost contact with his family.  He even lost his house and a long-term relationship because of a flood.  Yet, I did not know all the demons because Justin didn’t reveal all of them to me.  I cannot initially pinpoint anything that would have caused him to possibly take his own life.  I just pray for his kids.  I know one close friend who lost her father to suicide.  She’s never gotten over it, and she’s a pastor.  I fear Justin’s son and daughter will be scarred for life and will grow up wondering that, if their dad really loved them, how could he do such a thing.

Justin:  if you are haunting this earth somewhere, I hope you can hear what I’m about to say.  You were never forgotten, my friend, even when our friendship at South ended and you left without saying good-bye.  I was in a different place then, and I got rid of the weight that held me back.  I wish we could have seen each other before you left the physical world forever.  I also hope your kids forgive you for what happened as well and grow up to be wonderful adults, though your departure has made the survivors’ task much harder.  Finally, I hope you have found peace my friend.  Good-bye, Justin.

Time for politics and religion to stop being the only things we discuss in our lives…

There is old saying that at parties you can talk about anything except for two subjects:  politics and religion.  Yet, in this day and age, we can’t stop talking about both.  It’s getting to the point where friendships are breaking up over how people vote more than any other reason.  Don’t believe me?  How many friends have you lost over you saying something political that there was a sharp disagreement?  We’re getting to the point in politics where murder, slavery, civil war, and everything else is getting thrown into political ads-and we’re still 6 weeks away from the election.  And religion is another sore spot that seems to have merged with politics as issues such as Gay marriage, Gambling, and even Sunday liquor sales are taking center stage.  Not even Sports or Restaurants is immune from these issues.  Papa John’s and Chick-Fil-A are being boycotted for their political and religious views.  Team owners are being scrutinized for who they donate to.  It’s now to the point where they are dissecting social media habits as a way to paint you as a political type (I am not making this up!).  We even are doing studies that scientifically prove conservatives and liberals may be caused by genetics.

When you start injecting politics into everyday life, bad things will happen.  We’re at the point where we have almost descended into a Taiwanese assembly fight in this country.  This is not the United States I remember where people would help each other out no matter what their views were.  That nation may exist again one day, but it doesn’t now.

My nightmare scenario is starting to become a reality.  I predict something political will cause a major upheaval within the next decade.  The upheaval will make the 1960s look like a Sunday picnic.  People will die for their views on religion and politics.  You may think I am crazy for saying that, but it is the logical conclusion to what is happening now.

As this country becomes more polarized, I have stepped more into the apolitical realm.  I realize that after the upheaval, we will need people who can rebuild the trust in this country, if there is a country to be saved.  And I intend to support the apolitical path because we will need to find ways for people to come together.

The next several years will either prove me right or wrong.  I don’t mind being wrong.  But don’t tell me I’m stupid for thinking this.  History is more likely to prove me right than wrong, and considering we are not learning from past mistakes, we are on the verge of repeating those mistakes in the future.

How Martha Burke delayed women from becoming members at Augusta National…

By now, everyone has heard that Augusta National finally has allowed women to join as members of the private club.  Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore have officially accepted membership in the heretofore all-male club.  It was a move that was long overdue, and welcomed by many, although with a lot of snarky remarks from supposedly “non-bias” journalists.

And the person most responsible for the most recent delay in admitting women into the 80-year club is… Martha Burke.

HUH?

Yes, you did see that correctly.  Martha Burke, the person who tried to pressure Augusta National into admitting women members, the person who tried to use Hootie Johnson as a springboard to bigger national prominence, the person who tried to bully CEOs into boycotting advertising at The Masters—likely cost women from being members at Augusta National for several years with her actions.  And although she finally got what she wanted, all she had to do to get it done sooner was… nothing.

I think it’s pretty clear to anyone with a sense of intuition that Augusta National had been looking for some time to add women into their membership.  After all, women could play at Augusta, women could caddie at Augusta, they could do just about anything.  There wasn’t anything in the rules about not admitting women.  They just needed the right women (read:  powerful and rich) to admit.  I always thought Catherine Zeta-Jones would have made a no-brainer choice as the first woman admitted as a member, but at the end of the day, it was not to be. 

I genuinely believe Hootie might have accepted women as members as early as 2000.  Darla Moore would have been too obvious of a choice when Hootie was chairman, however, because it would have given the impression Hootie was just helping a friend rather than breaking a barrier (FTR, Hootie and Darla are close friends).  And Condi was busy serving in the Bush administration in those years, so the perception was that Hootie was trying to curry political favor from W.

In the meantime, Martha Burke had just been named the head of a new organization designed to unify women’s organizations, the National Council of Women’s Organizations.  She saw Augusta National as her break-out moment of glory.  She sensed Augusta National was struggling to find the right women to extend memberships to, and she thought she could pressure Augusta National on her terms.  In the Spring of 2002, she chose to make her stand and used the media to try and bully Hootie into a rushed decision.  Hootie would not back down from the onslaught of sports journalists who sensed they could be witnessing a Jackie Robinson like moment, and even went so far as to suggest Tiger should boycott The Masters.  When Tiger didn’t, it was up to Martha to protest at Augusta.  The protest on that Masters Saturday afternoon was a disaster for Burke.  She could muster only 10 rent-a-protesters and a guy who called himself “Heywood Jablowme”.  Hootie won round 1.

After the embarrassment, Martha tried to bully CEOs into not sponsoring the Masters.  But Hootie saw it coming and decided to televise the Masters commercial-free.  Given how much money Augusta National was pulling in and how he had a willing TV Broadcaster in CBS, he could do it.  Round 2 to Hootie.

Finally Hootie turned over the reins to former ACOG chief, Billy Payne.  Billy is known as a more progressive type, but he moved as deliberately as Hootie before him.  When word came out that IBM, a sponsor of the Masters, was hiring a new female CEO, chatter began that Augusta National would finally admit her as a member.  After all, the IBM CEO automatically had membership in the past.

But Billy already had his choices in mind.  Although he struggled through the 2012 press conferences and had to deal with Martha again, though a Martha that no longer had the clout she once had, Billy made it through another Masters.  Finally, he had the breathing room to make his choices.  And they were excellent ones, befitting Augusta National.  Don’t cry for the IBM CEO, however.  Now, Billy can extend the invite to membership for her next year in a quiet manner, without pressure.

Sure, Martha Burke took a self-congratulatory victory lap yesterday.  But she no longer is in charge of NCWO, and all she can do is claim a victory she nearly squashed.  The real winner here is Billy Payne, who proved he is the right chairman to get the job done at Augusta National.  And for that, I salute the man who managed to bring the Olympics to Atlanta for once again affirming my faith that he could bring female members to Augusta National.

Jobs and Revenue, Mr. Cordish, Job and Revenue…

I don’t like the fact that the Maryland Legislator is currently in Special Session to propose a Constitutional Amendment legalizing a 6th Casino in Maryland.  It’s clear the Prince George’s Delegation has made a backroom deal to sell their souls for a piece of the limited Gambling revenue Maryland has to offer.  The whole slots idea is not a terrible plan, but the way Maryland has approached this is a total botch job that will likely never be cleaned up.  I won’t rehash the details, just go read my previous blogs about Gambling and Horse Racing in Maryland.

But right now, I am taking a tiny bit of satisfaction in knowing that Frank Cordish is watching his business dreams of Maryland Live! being the dominant casino in Maryland getting flushed down the crapper.  The same tactics he used to take the Anne Arundel Casino from Laurel Racetrack (Jobs and Revenue) are now being used against him to get a Casino in National Harbor, which will take away all Business from DC south away from Maryland Live! (Yes Rosecroft is theoretically in the running, but the bidding game has been rigged in favor of National Harbor.) 

Table games or not, Maryland Live! need only look to Perryville to see what will happen to their gambling palace once National Harbor and Baltimore's Casinos come on-line.  When the Arundel Mills Casino came on-line, Perryville lost so much business, that they have petitioned the Maryland Gaming Commission to take back half of the slots.  And Perryville has had to lay off workers at the Hollywood Casino as well.  The same thing will happen at Arundel Mills.  When the Baltimore and National Harbor Casinos come on line, Maryland Live!’s business will come from Northern Anne Arundel, Howard, and Northern Prince George’s County—that’s it!  The voters will have their say in November, but I'll predict it goes 60-40 in favor of a Prince George's Casino at National Harbor.

I voted against the Constitutional Amendment in 2008, and against Question A in 2010.  I was on the losing side both times.  I should vote against the Constitutional Amendment again this year, but after what Cordish did, if Cordish opposes the Casino, I may vote for it.  As a Baltimore businessman, Frank, you should know never to get in bed with Maryland politicians.  You’re now a speed bump for Martin O’ Malley’s quest for the White House in 2016.  Time for you, Mr. Cordish, to bend over and squeal.

Wireless Communication’s Role in Our Nation’s Future…

Anyone who does not follow Wireless Network News like I do may not understand the importance of how wireless will affect our future.  But the wireless industry is critical to the re-invention of how we do things.  The Laptop Computer, the Blackberry, the iPhone, and the Androids have changed the way we conduct our lives.  And new devices in the coming years will only accentuate our ability to conduct business, pay, and address our health.  I’m not the only one who is predicting this.  Yes, many in the wireless industry understands this already.  But I can assure you that many government officials also understand the importance of wireless.  And, according to my work program manager, that knowledge of wireless’ importance in the future of our nation starts at the top with President Obama himself. 

At a recent campaign stop in Northern Virginia, the President himself made the same case I have been making throughout this year about how the building out of the upgraded National Network will fundamentally shift the way we do everything in this country.  In the speech he reiterated how important it was to continue to give tax break to those companies that invest in wireless infrastructure in this country.  It’s interesting to note that in a recent study, AT&T and Verizon were 1-2 in terms of which companies invested in US infrastructure.  Considering that both companies are in the middle of a massive next-generation wireless build-out (with Sprint now joining the build-out with their long awaited Network Vision plans), it’s impossible to imagine that AT&T and Verizon will not maintain that infrastructure standing this year.  So, we’ll see if the President lives up to his word on this.

After WWII, the US built the best wireline phone service in the world, thanks in large part to returning US veterans.  Now, the US has joined the wireless revolution, and intends to build to best wireless communications network in the world.  With the US leading the LTE charge worldwide, the new wireless network (combined with WiFi technology to offset use in homes) will transform our lives.  It may also provide a way for unemployment to get below 8 percent in time for the election, giving the President a chance to win a second term.

The FCC’s standings on wireless is mixed.  It would appear the FCC understands the wireless revolution is at hand, but the speed at which the Government will react will determine whether Government will help or hinder the wireless industry.  Recent ruling against AT&T would give the impression of some resistance, but without the full story, there is no way to know for sure.  There’s also no information about how Mitt Romney views the future of wireless.  I would suspect he would have to be foolish not to see the wireless revolution as a positive. 

The fact that the President and I are seeing the same path is encouraging, but I still have criticism for the Commander-in-Chief.  “Uh, Mr. President, about that Blackberry you use…”

Celebrating the Blue and Grey past…

Last weekend, the South Gwinnett Class of 1992 gathered at the 1818 Club in Duluth, GA for a 20-year Class Reunion.  So many of those who gathered have said much regarding the Party that happened and everyone I have heard from that was there had a great time.  Even though I did say my peace last Saturday night, I wanted to provide an extended take on the events of the evening.

(1) Some wonderful surprises on who could attend.  Even though I had a good idea of who was coming in advance, there were some last-minute surprises.  The Smith twins (Mark and Brian) were great to see.  Another former Band of Stars member showed up, and it was great to see Todd Peck again after not hearing from him in a long time (thank you Natalie Wilson Faulkner for tracking your friend down).  And Miles Daniel was another pleasant last-minute surprise attendee, even though he declined to wear a name tag.

(2) Great pictures all around.  Everyone took great pictures throughout the evening, capped off by the group pictures.  I took several pictures myself, and thankfully most of them turned out well.  My personal favorites were two pictures taken by Kim Julian’s date for the evening.  The picture of all Four Georgia Scholars from our Class, and the Picture of 4 of the 8 Focus members from Britt Elementary School were two pics I had wanted the moment I heard Kim, Laurie (Vickery) Benesh, Beth (Fitzpatrick) Smith, and John Brown were attending.  It made the whole evening worth it for me.

(3) A great job of organizing.  Laurie and Jennifer (Jackson) Cramer did a great job of making sure the night went smoothly.  Callie (Waters) Kaiser was able to find an available night at the 1818 Club.  Wendi (Jones) Pierce and John were able to organize hotel rooms for the out-of-town guests.  Finally, Beth and Stephanie (Rutledge) Virag organized the Memory Table and did such a great job of bringing back windows to our past.

(4)  Just great conversations all around.  Families and life after South dominated the conversation as many of us talked about kids, jobs, and even a few walks down Memory Lane were overheard.  Mostly, it was about reconnecting with old friends and sharing laughs, hugs, and smiles.  It brought the best out in all of us.

The only regret I have is that my wife, Liz, could not join me down in Duluth.  She would have loved meeting more of my friends that she hadn’t met before.  Maybe at the next Reunion, Liz will be able to come with me.

We missed those of you who could not attend.  You would have had a wonderful time, and hopefully all the accolades you have heard from other classmates will convince you to join us at the next Reunion whether it is 2017 for the 25th or 2022 for the 30th.  John is right:  You will have a great time.

(P.S.  Oh in case anyone is interested, I saved the name tag files from the Reunion in the hopes of jump-starting anyone’s efforts to put together the 25 or 30-year name tags.  If anyone would like to work on the name tags, I will do what I can to help you reduce the work load.)

While many of you focusing on trivial stuff such as Chick-Fil-A’s beliefs…

Tonight could mark the fifth night of the worst unrest in the LA Area since the LA Riots… and almost NO ONE is paying attention to it outside of folks in LA.

Here is the story, courtesy of the LA Times:

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Simmering tensions in the wake of two deadly police shootings in Anaheim exploded into violence Tuesday night as protesters clashed with police outside City Hall even as officials voted to ask federal authorities to investigate the killings that have rocked the Orange County community.

Protesters hurled rocks, traffic cones and other objects at police clad in riot gear as officers chased people along sidewalks and streets throughout the evening and fired less-than-lethal projectiles into crowds after giving a dispersal order. Sirens wailed as officers formed skirmish lines and police from neighboring law enforcement agencies provided assistance.

Police said that at least five people were arrested on suspicion of assault and resisting arrest, and that a reporter from the Orange County Register was struck by a rock as angry crowds stood face to face with officers in tense standoffs. Fires were started in dumpsters, and at least one storefront had its windows broken as the skirmishes continued into the night.

The chaotic scene marked the fourth day of protests since officers shot two men to death over the weekend, outraging residents concerned about police conduct in Anaheim's heavily Latino core.

Joel Mathew Acevedo was shot and killed after he fired at an officer Sunday night. A day earlier, Manuel Angel Diaz was killed after running from police on Anaheim's east side. Five people have died in police shootings in the city this year.

On Tuesday, Anaheim Mayor Tom Tait called for both state and federal investigations, in addition to an ongoing probe by the Orange County district attorney's office. The FBI announced Tuesday it would review Diaz's shooting to see whether it warranted a civil rights investigation.

At the City Council meeting, people surrounded the council chamber to speak out about the accusations of police brutality. Many were turned away from the packed chamber.

The council voted to ask the U.S. attorney's office to launch a probe.

"To the people in the city that are troubled about what happened," Tait said at the meeting, "I'd like to tell you that I am committed to keeping the lines of communication open and to keep the process completely transparent."

(story continues at www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-0725-anaheim-shooting-20120725,0,170227,full.story)

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So, memo to those of you who would normally be up in arms over this kind of thing… When you are finished telling people that "Anyone who eats Sh** Fil-A deserves to get the cancer that is sure to come from eating antibiotic filled tortured chickens 4Christ." (Roseanne Barr quote), feel free to weigh in on this controversy.