Memorial Day 2025: Of Poppies, Patriotism Made in China, Fallen Old Glory, & Memes…

We are well in the middle of Patriot Season in the US. For those of you unfamiliar with this terminology, this season begins at the beginning of May and continues through early July. During this time, we celebrate Military Appreciation month (May), as well as Memorial Day, Flag Day, and the Fourth of July. Many stores have sections dominated by red white and blue items. Hats, earrings, bakery items, plates, utensils, cups, etc. are just some of the things with a US based theme.

Over the weekend, my wife talked to me about looking at a flower arrangement for our church from Memorial Day weekend. She was looking for a red, white, and blue setting. She admitted that she might be overthinking this because the current arrangement we had up at the altar was appropriate for the Easter season we are now in, but not for Memorial Day. I told her that if you were going to do this flowers setting correctly, you needed red poppies. Poppy flowers are a global symbol that recognizes soldiers who gave their lives in war time for their country. You will see poppy flower pins especially during Memorial/Remembrance Day observances. As a matter of fact, I have several poppy pins to wear in just such times.

My wife and I agreed to go to Michael’s to look for poppy flowers to place in a floral setting up at the altar. We got to Michael’s, and found the flower section. I was disappointed to see how very little poppies were available… But it was understandable considering how we as a nation don’t really wear poppy pins on Memorial Day weekend.

As I was looking around the store, I noticed the USA section. Just out of curiosity, I took a look at several of the items. I wanted to see where many of these patriotic items were made. Sadly, I discovered that nearly all of these patriotic items were made in China. The next day, I stopped by a Walmart and found that nearly all of the patriotic items at that store were also made in China. I understand why most of our USA themed gear is made in China, but I’m still saddened by it.

This got me thinking on a couple of levels…

First, since 9/11, many Americans have put flags up in front of their houses (and in the back of their houses) to symbolize their love of country. Now I put the flag up at our house, but I only do it during national days (like Memorial Day, Flag Day, the Fourth of July, and Veterans Day). For many of the people that have the flag up daily, they never take it down. That can be a problem when storms or high winds come through the area. Last Friday was just such an occasion… And one of the flags did fall to the ground at a neighbor’s house. I noticed that the flag stayed on the ground for over 36 hours before the homeowner finally picked it up and put it back on the pole that it didn’t fallen off of. Of course, if an American flag falls to the ground, you are supposed to retire that flag and dispose of it in an honorable manner. That’s not what happened in this case.

Secondly, why is it that we buy or put up patriotic items (even those cheap ones that are made in China) to publicly show our patriotism… only to forget about it just as quickly as we put it up or use the items? Maybe that’s not the way things are, but the perception is that our patriotism is just for decorative/show purposes. It feels like at times that we go through the motions on Patriotic Days so that we don’t get called out for our “lack of patriotism“.

One of the ways that we tend to attempt to show patriotism is by posting memes on Memorial Day weekend to remind everyone to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country. I always felt like it came off cheap… Like many post the meme about honoring the troops, and then go off and do fun time after that… barbecues, going to the beach, family get togethers, etc. I’m always the kind of person that if you talk to talk, you better walk the walk.

A few years ago, I decided to put my money where my mouth was. My family and I went to Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day weekend to pay our respects in person to those in particular who gave their lives in service for our country. It was a moving and incredible experience to be there. We even got to lay flowers at the tomb of the unknown soldier. It was a day that my family will never forget. Maybe one Memorial Day weekend in the future, we can visit other memorials in the DC area.

One such memorial is the Vietnam Memorial wall. It is one of the most powerful and moving monuments ever created in our national tapestry. It is like looking at the name of a loved one who lost their lives during that conflict and instantly seeing the image of who they were just before they died. They were in the prime of their lives… their strongest, their fastest, their most intelligent, etc. They’re perfectly described in the “Ode of Remembrance” by Sir Laurence Binyon:

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

Maybe the Vietnam Memorial wall isn’t something that you would want to visit if you go to Washington DC. But I can assure you, having visited that memorial twice, it is one of the most moving and impactful memorials in our nation. Every American citizen should visit that memorial at least once in their lifetime. 

As we approach another Memorial Day weekend, I’d like to offer a little piece of advice. Before you go out posting memes of how we should honor those who have fallen, consider finding a way to honor those who gave their lives in service to our country. Don’t worry about what others are or aren’t doing. Make sure you are walking the walk.

(By the way, if you do decide to complain about your church not having patriotic flowers up on the altar this weekend, just make sure I’m not within earshot. I won’t be hard to find. I’ll be the one wearing the red poppy pin. *)

“Lest we forget.”

*- If you wanna look for a red poppy pin to wear for Memorial Day, and don’t want to go through the Amazon route, might I recommend the American Legion’s website. 

The MAHA Gamble of a Declining Restaurant Chain…

Steak ‘n Shake has been a restaurant that I have frequently visited many times in my adult life. The restaurant chain, which came into existence in 1934 in Normal, Illinois, eventually expanded throughout large portions of the Midwest, and even into the Deep South… where my first experience with the chain occurred as a kid in the early 1980s just outside of Atlanta. The chain mostly disappeared from sight for a while in Atlanta, so it wasn’t until college that I came across the chain again… This time in northern Indiana. My first real adult memory of Steak ‘n Shake occurred as I was visiting my sister Sheri at her home, just east of Mishawaka, Indiana. I remembered getting a steak burger with fries and vegetable beef soup. It was like comfort food to me.

Over the years when I would visit my parents down in Georgia, I would occasionally visit the Steak ‘n Shake that had opened in my hometown around the turn of the century. My favorite sandwich was the triple steak burger. There would also be multiple Steak ‘n Shakes in route from Baltimore to Atlanta and back. As a result, there were several opportunities to enjoy the restaurant… Even though there were not any Steak ‘n Shakes within about 350 miles of Baltimore at the time.

As I got married and had a family of my own, we would occasionally drive to Georgia and I would introduce them to the restaurant. By all accounts, they loved the place. Soon work trips to North Carolina would give me additional chances to go visit Steak ‘n Shake. I also learned that the restaurant was getting closer to Baltimore as they opened up a place between Richmond and Washington DC. Then I heard the news that I was waiting for: Steak ‘n Shake was finally coming to Maryland and coming to a place near where I lived.

When Steak ‘n Shake finally opened in Maryland in 2015, the drive-thru was swamped with customers like myself who wanted to reexperience what a steak burger was like. In time the crowds died down, and that gave us an opportunity to finally eat in the restaurant. I was so happy that they were there.

But behind the growth and expansion of Steak ‘n Shake, they lurked dark problems. For one thing, their financial situation had been bad for many years. Despite growth in profits from 2008 to 2016, the restaurant had failed to keep up with the changing demands of the public. Starting in 2016, those changing demands finally hit home. Competition from places like Chipotle and Culver’s started eating away at Steak ‘n Shake’s demand. Steak ‘n Shake would make a fateful decision in 2018 making all of their restaurants franchise owned. Around that time, the owner of Maryland’s only Steak ‘n Shake ran into serious financial problems, and the restaurant was closed for about a year. Then came the pandemic… Which really hurt Steak ‘n Shake. It appeared that the restaurant would be a major casualty of the pandemic. Then Steak ‘n Shake made a number of additional fateful decisions. In 2021, they decided to go away from the fast casual restaurant model… And become a fast food restaurant. Also, Steak ‘n Shake got rid of the cashiers for dining in and went to all touchscreen kiosks for customers to place their orders. Steak ‘n Shake would also simplify their menu and got rid of several things that made the place unique. The results would further damage the restaurant chain.

I had noticed for many years going into Steak ‘n Shake that very few of them were crowded. I wondered if the restaurant could stay in business if they weren’t drawing more people to it. The answer to that thought came in the immediate aftermath of the pandemic. Steak ‘n Shake franchisees began shutting down across the east coast of the United States. States like New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware… and yes, even my current state of Maryland, closed up all Steak ‘n Shakes. In fact, the first Steak ‘n Shake I would run into while driving to Atlanta would be in the Charlotte Metro area… Over 450 miles away from Baltimore.

Today, Steak ‘n Shake is now only available in 22 states. And while there are still numerous locations across states like Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Georgia, and Florida, the restaurant has declined. New burger restaurants have begun to expand. Culver’s has been a continuing thorn in the side of Steak ‘n Shake. But it is another chain of steak burger restaurants called Freddy’s, that has really been a thorn in Steak ‘n Shake’s side. Freddy’s is in a lot more locations and is now going into Steak ‘n Shake’s turf.

It is clear that Steak ‘n Shake needs to do something to shake up interest in their restaurants. What they have decided to do is take a huge gamble based on the politics of the day.

With the return of Donald Trump to the White House, Robert F Kennedy Jr… a man who does not believe in the conventional ways of keeping people healthy… has become the health and human services secretary. Among the things that RFK2 opposes is using seed oil for fast food fryers. He has claimed that beef tallow is actually healthier. He has no proof of this, but that hasn’t stopped him from projecting this theory onto the American landscape. And Steak ‘n Shake has noticed. On March 1, Steak ‘n Shake became the first American chain in several years to reintroduce beef tallow grease for fryer usage across all their restaurants. In addition, Steak ‘n Shake just announced that they were switching to pure butter instead of a buttery blend for their sandwiches (which included seed oils) and intend to have that at all their restaurants by April 2. In a recent interview on Fox, RFK2 went to a Steak ‘n Shake to promote the restaurants efforts with beef tallow in what amounted to an infomercial for the chain. As a result, many allies of President Donald Trump have gone on social media to sing the praises of Steak ‘n Shake’s change. 

What does this mean for the future of Steak ‘n Shake? It could possibly mean a short-term boost in sales as allies of the president could convince his voting base in the 22 states that do have Steak ‘n Shake restaurants to go and visit. However, the long-term effects are likely unstable at best. If customers do not think the latest change makes their fries or onion rings, or chicken tenders taste better, it could be the last gasps of a dying restaurant chain that will eventually join the likes of Sambo‘s, Howard Johnson’s, Burger Chef, and many other chains. Only time will tell if Steak ‘n Shake’s latest gamble will work.

The next time that my family will have an opportunity to visit a Steak ‘n Shake will be in late June, when my family will go on a road trip to SW Ohio. Will we seek out the chance to visit Steak ‘n Shake with all these changes? We shall see.

A "Homecoming" Back to my Roots

On my South Gwinnett High School Letter Jacket, the left side contains Nine Medals. What the medals represented in my school during my time there was that you were the best student in a particular subject. For example, anyone who truly knows me knows that Math was my favorite subject... and three of the Medals were for being the top student in Algebra II (Sophomore Year), Trigonometry (Junior Year), an AP Calculus AB (Senior Year).

Social Studies was considered a great equalizer at my school.  As a Freshman, you were required to take a semester of Civics (World Geography was the other class you took for a semester, but it was not considered Social Studies). As a Sophomore, you took World History for a full year and Economics for a Semester. As a Junior, you took US History for a full year. There was a Senior year course as well, but it was considered an elective. There were also AP Courses for World and US History. So, only a handful of members of the Class of 1992 would have been awarded Medals in Social Studies... you could probably count the number of Social Studies medal winners in my class on two hands, maybe even one. I won two medals... one for top AP World History student, and one for top US History student. I only know of one other member in my class to win two Social Studies medals... unironically, it was our Class Salutatorian, Kim (Julian) Bowden (she was the top World History Student and Top AP US History student).

History to me is so important. For one to understand how we got to the present, it is important to understand the road(s) we came from.  Our roots (whether National or personal) are a part of who we truly are. Since the pandemic began in 2020, I have yearned to return back to my roots... to return to the places I have lived. I seem to gain a sense of new energy when I tap into my roots and REMEMBER who I was in those places. 

Before I moved to Maryland in 1996, I lived in three places... Decatur, Georgia; Snellville, Georgia; and Valparaiso, Indiana where I attended College. The easiest place to return to was Snellville.  My parents (until their passings in 2022 and 2023) lived in the same house since we had moved to that "little town where life is a thrill" back in 1979. So, I could walk into my old room, walk around the street, and remember who I was as a kid.  My parents hated the idea of me driving back to my original home in Decatur... it was too dangerous, they said.  But in 2021, I drove back to the original house with my family and showed them where I lived as a small child. A flood of memories came back to me as I showed them the house.  The house has changed over the years; for example, the screened-in back porch is now gone (given what I know about house infrastructure these days... good riddance to that back porch).

Remembering the past also forced me to do something else. I felt in some cases that I needed to address some things I did wrong. I made mistakes and misjudgments in my younger years, and on one such trip, I went to visit a friend who I felt I had treated unfairly in High School. It turned out to be a most necessary trip as that friend gave me some pretty sound advice. While the advice focused on the women from my past helping me prepare for Liz's arrival into my life in 2004, it was a microcosm to a much larger point: every place I had lived in and every friend I had known helped shape me into the person I am right now.

For a while, I had not been given much of an opportunity to revisit my college home or see my Best Friend in Chicago. But with my Best Friend turning 50, I had an excuse. So I pinged his wife about planning a surprise visit. I was informed that he wanted to play his 50th birthday as low key (bummer); however, his son was getting awarded status as being an Eagle Scout and I was invited. Yep, I was heading back to Chicago.

With Valparaiso University being such a short (yet, painfully slow) drive from Chicago, I realized that I had to return "home" and visit. Valparaiso University wasn't just my College Home... my Dad and one of my sisters also attended the Alma Mater.  Visiting Valpo also meant giving a donation in memory of my father.

So I went to Valpo immediately after arriving in Chicago on Friday afternoon. While it was tempting to just walk immediately to Kretzmann Hall and drop off the donation where I thought I was supposed to go, I was aware that things probably no longer worked that way. So, I stopped off at the new Visitors Center and asked for help.  After a short wait that felt like forever, the donation was delivered into the right hands.

Walking around a nearly empty campus that was still over a week away from Student Arrivals/Returns was an incredible feeling. I could go walk into any building I wanted to. I was unimpeded for the most part, and that freedom left me with a feeling like I was a kid in a Candy Store with unlimited money to spend. Knowing the responsibility I had to "clean up after myself", I only went into certain buildings.  I avoided the Dorm Rooms I lived in: Wehrenberg, Brandt, and Alumni.  I did briefly visit with the Dean of the College of Engineering (he was a classmate of my brother-in-law). 

After the initial walk around the East Side of Campus, I came to its heart... the Chapel of the Resurrection. I quickly realized I was all alone (there was staff in the adjacent Helge Center, but the Chapel itself was empty). The Church was in shape as it was readied for a new School Year. Here was my chance to see the Chapel in its perfect form... and I took advantage, snapping pictures that you could put in a brochure. Then I started up to the Altar to pray.  But I stopped after taking just a couple of steps up. I realized I did not need to go right up to the Altar. So I turned around and sat in one of the rows of chairs and, for a little while, absorbed the surroundings before I said a prayer for my family. It felt right.

After my Chapel visit, I moved onto the new Student Union, known as Harre Hall. Dr. Al Harre was President of Valparaiso University during my time at the school. He began the modern transformation of the university to a more pedestrian-friendly campus. Using the chapel as the centerpiece, new facilities such as the center for arts, a new library, and a new student union were built during his tenure. The new Student Union is different from its predecessor.  Certain things are gone, but the ability to eat, stretch out, relax, and even study in its confines is something I appreciate in my current age. The Bookstore & Gift Shop is a huge upgrade and I had to buy some merchandise for the family.

After spending time in Harre Hall, a quick stop at the University library and Mueller Hall followed. In Mueller Hall, I found something that I was looking for... the bust of OP Kretzmann. Of course, I had to rub his nose for good luck. Finally, I went to the western part of campus… To places that once were there in my time, but now are gone. I also swung by my fraternity house… But unfortunately, no one was home. Still, it was good to take in the entire University experience once again after a 17 year absence.

My time with my university roots was not completely done, however. I then headed to the Western suburbs of Chicago to spend the weekend with my college roommate of two years and best friend. Though it felt like I was going from one place to another throughout the weekend, I never felt rushed. It was good to play golf with my friend again, to hear his wife preach on Sunday morning, and to witness his son being awarded the title of Eagle Scout. Even though my best friend and I don’t always see eye to eye on things, we will always be brothers.

As I left Chicago to fly back to Baltimore, I felt a new sense of energy flowing through me. Reconnecting with my college roots was the best thing that could happen. 

Some people say that they would like to forget about the past, and others say that the past is not as important as the future. And sometimes we forget that, in glamorizing our roots, the places of our childhood and college years held many dark secrets. Decatur was in a state of flux when I was born, so I never knew its dark secrets. But I know the dark secrets of Snellville and Valparaiso. That said, I will always love those places, and I am glad to see they are in better mental states than what they once were.

While there is truth in the fact that “You can’t go home again”, the past is often times the road leading to your future. I know for some people that the past is a reminder of moments of pain & failure. But in my past failures, I see lessons to learn in order to help me become a better person. I choose to face my past and accept it. It has help mold me into the person that I am… Both my good moments and bad moments. 

Reconnecting with my roots helps remind me of the friends who have helped me along the way. This trip helped renew my spirit, and going forward. I will need all the energy I can muster to face the days ahead.

Rogue Corner (Taylor’s Version)

Less than a year ago, I was watching social media posts from my friends in Georgia and Florida on how they and/or their daughters were attending the Taylor Swift concerts taking place in February, and in March. I laughed at the TikTok videos, showing Swifties storming Marta trains after one of her concerts. I also laughed at dads being grateful for not having family members in the middle of those concerts.

As I was reading the posts about the concerts, I couldn’t help but think that I had seen this before. Sure enough, 3 1/2 decades earlier I recalled similar scenes when I was in eighth grade when there was a boy band by the name of New Kids on the Block. Many of my female classmates swooned over the members of that group and bragged about how they attended the concerts at the Omni in Atlanta or at Georgia Tech. And yes, they all bought the band T-shirts. For the record, I hated New Kids… Yes, I was jealous of that band.

What I didn’t realize then was that they had something in common with the Swifties of today. Now, for the record, I don’t consider myself a Swiftie. However, I can truly appreciate what a special talent and what a special person Taylor Swift is. But, what New Kids and Taylor have in common isn’t just restricted to those two entities. In fact, you could say they have something in common with a lot of successful musicians who have had a lot of female fans… Frank Sinatra, Elvis, The Beatles, The Jacksons, Prince, Madonna, New Kids, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, and Taylor Swift… At one time or another, all these musicians have brought joy to the hearts of young women of their day in their unique musical storytelling ways. The difference is what these musicians are telling their female audience in their storytelling. While “the boys” are trying to win the hearts of their fans through beautiful ballads, “the girls” speak to their audience about their experiences, struggles, loves, heartbreaks, etc. From my perspective, Taylor appears to be the most complete musical storyteller out there talking about the overall experiences of young ladies… & she can tell these stories in ways that use elements of showmanship of those who have come before her. One minute, she can mimic Madonna or Katy Perry, the next you see her playing like Billy Joel or Elton John on the piano, the next, she is like the Beatles on her guitar, and so on.

To be fair, Taylor has been honing her craft for two decades. She began her music career in Nashville performing country music. She would make the jump from country to pop music very early in her career. She has been a successful artist, both financially and critically. Her albums and concerts have made her a billionaire and she is one of 4 artists to have won 3 Album of the Year Grammys. (She could actually break that tie this weekend as her latest album, Midnights, is up for Album of the Year honors at the Grammys.) It is safe to say that Taylor is the most popular musician in the World at this moment. It is a major reason why Time magazine named her Person of the Year in 2023.

On top of that, Taylor is dating one of the top tight ends in the National Football League. Now Taylor’s romantic life has been the basis for a number of her songs. But this relationship appears to be different. Both Taylor and her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, have been very supportive of each other. He has gone to her concert in Brazil, and she has watched many of Travis’s games this season… including the playoffs.

So with everything seemingly going Taylor’s way and her ability to spread joy to the hearts of young women, you would think that people would be happy for her… but that is not totally the case. Like my jealousy of New Kids over 35 years ago, many are jealous of Taylor. Much of that jealousy is from men who perceive Taylor as a threat. She has power… power to use her legion of fans in ways that could be detrimental to their beliefs. As a result, many commentators (predominantly right-wing commentators) have criticized Taylor for being spotlighted at NFL games… the irony being that these people critical of Taylor are the same people supposed to be boycotting the NFL over players kneeling during the anthem, and other “transgressions”. It’s kind of sad to see these commentators pander to a crowd that hates & can never find joy.

We have just gone through a very traumatic time in the history of the world… and many people are yearning for joy again. Through her music, Taylor has brought that joy to a large segment of people like several of her musical contemporaries who came before her. She is a positive role model for a lot of young girls and women. There are a lot of Taylor-haters out there in the world, but I don’t count myself as one of them. I’ve learned my lessons from the past. No longer am I jealous of those who bring joy… In fact, I seek joy whenever I can. Seek the joy. Be the joy. Joy is an emotion that helps heal, and we could all use some healing right now. And Taylor is a healer. Picking a fight with Taylor? Well, you’re just asking for trouble. Take it from someone who knows.

Old Family Recipes & Holiday Memories

 Old family recipes serve a number of purposes. These recipes, which are passed from generation to generation, not only provide food that taste wonderful, but the spirit of multiple generations is put into those recipes. The result is not just food, but memories of times long ago.

In my family, the recipe that is most associated with the holidays is called 24 hour salad. This recipe goes back five generations to my grandmothers family. The story goes that many years ago a recipe was provided to allow for families to make a fruit salad that was effectively ambrosia. The key was that it was chilled for 24 hours and once ready for eating, the salad could last for several days.

As a young kid, I watched my mom make the salad for Thanksgiving day, and for Christmas Day. As I grew older, I started becoming involved in the making of the salad to a point that, when I finally moved to Maryland, I was ready to make the family fruit salad on my own.

Making the salad over the years brings back a lot of memories that I had growing up. But two of my favorite memories occurred about 25 and 19 years ago. In late December of 1998, my whole family gathered for Christmas at my sister Sheri‘s house. It was rare for my family to gather together for Christmas once my sisters and I became adults. But earlier in 1998, my sisters and I agreed that we should spend Christmas with Sheri‘s family, and that we should get my parents up there as well. Everyone agreed and so we gathered for Christmas in Illinois that year.

A lot of good memories occurred that Christmas, but my favorite was on Christmas Eve morning when the adults of the family gathered in the kitchen for cooking and making dinner for the following day. My job was to make the 24 hour salad but no less than six adults were in the kitchen at one time … Talking and remembering the past as we were cooking. I stopped now and then to just listen and take in the moment because I knew how special that Christmas Eve morning was. My sisters with their significant others, my parents, and I all working together while the kids mostly slept upstairs.

The second memory occurred on Thanksgiving day in 2004. I had been dating my future wife for about six months when her family invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. I told him I would come under the condition that I brought a dish. By then, I had mastered making the 24 hour salad, so I knew it would turn out well. The question was would my girlfriend’s family like the salad? The answer came pretty quickly. They loved it, and my future mother-in-law asked me for the recipe. Ultimately that recipe was put in our church cookbook in 2008, and it was credited to my grandmother and her family.

This year I will be making the salad again, but there are two changes that have occurred this year to make it more poignant. This will be the first holiday season without my parents. My sisters and I are now the keepers of this recipe. The second change, is that one of the main ingredients of the salad is no longer being made, and as a result, I am forced to find substitutes. Nevertheless, I have all the ingredients ready to make the salad on the day before Thanksgiving. As I am making the salad, I’m sure a lot of memories of holidays past will come flowing back. And that’s the point of these old recipes. Not only are you making good food for family and friends, but you’re also remembering wonderful times of the past. Soon, I will pass that recipe to Joshua & Lydia… and the tradition will continue.

Not this year…

I’m too tired. 

I’m too tired to be angry. 

I’m too tired to “never forget“. 

I’m just emotionally drained. 

For the last 22 years, I’ve had to live with the failure that happened on that day. It’s my job. The only people that have had it worse than I have are those who lost loved ones on that terrible day, and those who served our country in uniform during that time and spent months away from their families... either to defend our country from another attack or having to go halfway across the world to confront those responsible.

But the last 3 1/2 years have drained me to a breaking point. I need to rest. 

Those who planned that day are dead. Their organization is a shell of what it once was. They never launched the next phase… the bigger punch against us (like a dirty bomb) that we feared they were going to.

To be fair, we still keep an eye out. One horrible day is one horrible day too many. 

But seeing the same picture, over and over and over again, and being reminded to never forget… 

You don’t have your own personal picture of those buildings before they fell? You haven’t taken a picture of the spotlight beams going up into the sky where the buildings once stood? You haven’t gone to New York or PA and visited at least one of the Memorials? 

I remember the day I visited the towers. It was a cold March day. We had to take multiple elevators just to get up to the observation deck on the 107th floor. I remember trying to go up to the rooftop, but it was closed off. I took picture facing South, East, & North. It was a wonderful memory.

That horrible day made me find the pictures of the wonderful day. I’ve posted the memory of the wonderful day over the years as a counterbalance… a positive remembrance.

But I also remember how we got to that horrible day. That horrible day did not happen as an isolated moment.

I remember those we lost in Mogadishu.

I remember those we lost in the Khobar Towers.

I remember those we lost in Kenya & Tanzania.

I remember those we lost aboard the USS Cole.

I remember Madrid & London which happened after.

I remember the day we finally removed the mastermind of all of it… and the day we removed the other one.

I choose to “Remember”… what the buildings once were & who the people we lost on that day were… & not to “Never Forget” the pain & anger I felt on that day. 

I haven’t had a good night sleep in a long time. For too long, I was driven by what I was seeing on the “news”. And it made me angry… as it was designed to do. No more. It’s too much.

Not this year… not after I lost both my parents. Not after I have lost dear friends. 

If you want to be angry at me because my words hit too close, it’s your prerogative… but know that I’m not the real reason you are angry.

Maybe we all need to get 50 miles outside our comfort zones. Maybe we need to close our mouths & open our ears & hearts again to hear our neighbors, coworkers, & friends. Maybe we need to celebrate even the little happy moments more… moments that truly unite us. Because happiness rejuvenates us. Joy is a powerful force.

Reliving the same pain over & over won’t move us forward. 

Never forget? How about Remembering those we lost on that day & strive to be better people in their memory? How about just showing kindness again? That is when we are at our best.

But for now… maybe I can catch up on sleep. I’m just too tired. Not. This. Year.

The COVID Pandemic... 3 years later.

Saturday marks three years since the World Health Organization declared a Global Pandemic for COVID-19.  Three years since the world began to shut down.  Three years since the world was forever changed.  Three years almost to the day that I came face-to-face with the Apocalypse.

As of March 5th, 2023, the number of confirmed Covid cases in the US alone has totaled over 103 million, while the confirmed death toll in the US now exceeds 1.12 million.  Based on 2 separate conservative estimates, the actual death toll from Covid is probably an additional 200-400 thousand deaths higher.  Millions continue to suffer from symptoms of Long Covid.

We are likely approaching the endemic state of Covid across the globe.  In the US, the Covid Emergency will officially end on May 11... 38 months after the Global Pandemic was declared.  Numbers indicate that the number of new Covid cases and Covid deaths are nowhere at the levels they were a year ago during the Omnicron wave or even 2 years ago, when the US was beginning to come out of the worst portion of the pandemic.

What this post will do tonight is take a look at which parts of this country have done the best in fighting Covid, and which have not.

I mentioned the actual Covid numbers above, but if you look at those same numbers of per 100k people, the numbers tell an equally devastating picture.  In the US, the number of confirmed cases per 100k people currently stand at 31577, and the number of deaths per 100k people stands at 342.  That means the number of confirmed cases that have ended in death are about 1.083%.  Compare those numbers to the 1918-1920 Spanish Flu Pandemic in the US, where the per capita rate for Positive Flu cases were 28000, the death rate per 100k was 642 (est), and the percentage of confirmed flu cases that ended in death was estimated at 2.25%.  You would be tempted to say the Spanish Flu Pandemic was worse, but keep in mind, the Covid pandemic had better means of treatment than the flu pandemic had.  Plenty of ventilators, experimental treatments, and vaccines were things those treating the Covid pandemic had that those treating the flu pandemic did not.

So how do you determine which states have done well and which have not?  Let's take a look at California, for example.  California has had the most number of confirmed cases total over 12 million and the most number of deaths as that number exceeds 100k (these number are taken from statistics compiled by Johns Hopkins University from all 50 states' Dept. of Health COVID Sites).  Looks bad, right?  Well, not as bad as you think.  Keep in mind, California has just under 40 million people living in the state.  That means the number of cases per 100k people is at 30651, the number of deaths per 100k people is at 256, and the percentage of cases that have ended in death is about 0.835%... all three categories of measurement being below the national averages by significant margins.  

Based on a formula I used from Microsoft Excel, where I use Normal Statistical Distribution curves comparing California's numbers to the US mean numbers and the Standard Deviation of all 50 states (weighted with Confirmed Cases per 100k accounting for 33% of the total score, deaths per 100k accounting for 50% of the score, and Percent of cases ending in death accounting for 17% of the score), California's score on a scale from 0 to 100 (0 being no Covid cases or deaths and 100 meaning the pandemic was a disaster) is 24.382... and good enough for 11th best out of 50 states.

So which 10 states are doing a better job of dealing with the pandemic than California?  Here they are, with their respective scores as of March 5th, 2023:

10. Maryland - 22.807

9.  Virginia - 22.787

8.  Colorado - 22.327

7.  Nebraska - 20.732

6.  New Hampshire - 12.251

5.  Oregon - 10.262

4.  Maine - 8.986

3.  Washington - 7.642

2.  Hawaii - 5.106

1.  Vermont - 2.555

A couple of notes here... Vermont has not updated their numbers in over 2 weeks, so Vermont's score is probably going to have to be adjusted higher.  But, those adjusted number are unlikely to change Vermont's status as the state that has handled the Pandemic best of all.  Secondly, Washington DC does not count in these rankings, but if they did, DC's score of 7.186 would be good enough to place it 3rd best.

Now we go the other side of the ledger and point out the 10 worst states dealing with the pandemic.  Early on in this pandemic, New Jersey and New York were the two worst states overall.  But times have changed and those two states no longer even rank in the bottom 10 of states that have dealt with the pandemic.  New York current ranks 38th with a score of 72.375 and New Jersey ranks 40th with a score of 73.759.  That's not to say that New York and New Jersey have turned it around as much as it says other states failed to learn from their lessons and have made the same or even worse mistakes.

So here are the 10 worst states going from 41st to 50th place with their respective scores as of March 5th, 2023:

41. New Mexico - 74.824

42. Florida - 74.956

43. Kentucky - 77.359

44. Alabama - 77.505

45. Arkansas - 77.765

46. Oklahoma - 79.445

47. Mississippi - 80.664

48. Tennessee - 81.994

49. Arizona - 82.028

50. West Virginia - 84.294

Some other states of notes... Texas is 17th with a score of 38.956, Illinois is 21st with a score of 46.492, Ohio is 23rd with a score of 49.857, Georgia is 33rd with a score of 61.291, and Indiana is 34th with a score of 61.425. 

This pandemic has generally affected more rural areas than urban ones.  For example, Georgia's big 5 Metro Atlanta Area counties have accounted for 20% of the deaths, but since they account for 33% of the population, it means those 5 counties are generally doing better at saving lives than the rest of the state.  Johns Hopkins stats allow for counties to be compared with each other, so let's look at a metro Atlanta county (Gwinnett) and compare it with a exurban/rural county to its east (Walton).  The number of confirmed positive cases per 100k in each county is roughly the same, but the death rate per 100k is more than double in Walton as compared with Gwinnett.  Similar findings occur in other counties and while a few rural counties in GA buck the trend (Forsyth County is a good example), every county that is above GA's average of 400 deaths per 100k people is a rural or metro Atlanta exurban county.  Many metro areas across this country have hospitals that have been stressed to the limit in this pandemic... and those are the hospitals that have actually been able to save hundreds of thousands of lives.  If a rural county does have a hospital, many across this country have been exposed in this pandemic as being broken and, with many in rural areas having mistrust of medicine and doctors, it appears rural hospitals may take a long time to recover from this pandemic... if they ever do.

A new kind of normal is beginning to emerge and things will never be the way they once were.  Covid will never disappear.  It is here to stay.  Whether via vaccine or by getting the virus, humans genetics will evolve to fight Covid and, one day, getting Covid will be no different than getting the flu or a cold.  It may take some time, however.

The COVID Pandemic at 2 Years (and counting...)

Today's Rogue Corner is just a compilation of statistics as we have officially reached the two-year anniversary of the WHO declaring Covid-19 as a global pandemic (March 11, 2020).  These stats have been compiled by Johns Hopkins University, taken data from State Department of Health's Websites as well as National Health Websites across the globe.  It is probably one of the most complete global looks at this pandemic that is available.

As of March 10, 2022, there have been just under 79.5 Million Positive Covid Tests in the United States.  In terms of comparing that number to the US population, it is the equivalent of just under 1 in 4 Americans that have tested positive.  Just over 965,000 Americans have died of Covid. That translate to about 1 in 340 Americans that have died from Covid.  In terms of the Death Rate from Covid, in the US about 1.2% of Covid cases in the US have resulted in death.  In comparison, during the Flu Pandemic of 1918-1920, 2.25% of all Flu cases in the US resulted in death.  However, it is important to keep in mind that many life-saving techniques available to Health care providers during Covid were not available in the Flu Pandemic a century ago.  Flu vaccines were not available until around 1960, ventilators were not as available in 1918 and many treatments for covid and flu did not exist in 1918.

The 965,000 deaths from Covid is the largest loss of life due to a pandemic in US history.  By comparison, the AIDS pandemic which has continued for over 40 years has killed over 700,000 Americans, and the 1918 Flu Pandemic killed an estimated 675,000 Americans.  Also keep in mind, the 965,000 deaths from Covid in the US is a floor estimate. Studies have suggested that the number of people infected with Covid is higher and the Death Toll from Covid could be as high as 1.2-1.3 million.  Over each of the last two years, Covid has been the third leading cause of death in the US, behind only Heart Disease and Cancer.

Globally, there are over 450 million positive Covid tests and over 6 million deaths from Covid.  This puts Covid as one of the 10 worst pandemics in World history in terms of loss of life.  The industrialized world has taken the biggest hit in this pandemic in terms of number of cases and number of deaths.

In terms of the states, the four largest states in terms of population (California, Texas, Florida, and New York) rank 1, 2, 3, and 4 in terms of number of cases and deaths.  However, if you look at the numbers in terms of number of positive tests and deaths per 100k people in each state, the numbers tell a different story.  Here is a brief look at states with the highest and lowest postive test rates and death rates in the country.

5 Highest State Overall Positive Test Percentages compared to State Population:
1. Rhode Island (33.76%)
2. Alaska (33.18%)
3. North Dakota (31.37%)
4. Tennessee (29.50%)
5. Utah (28.86%)

5 Lowest State Overall Positive Test Percentages compared to State Population:
46. Vermont (18.23%)
47. Maine (17.24%)
48. Hawaii (16.79%)
49. Maryland (16.64%)
50. Oregon (16.57%)

5 Highest State Death Rate Percentages per Population from Covid:
1. Mississippi (0.412%)
2. Arizona (0.386%)
3. Alabama (0.383%)
4. Oklahoma (0.380%)
5. New Jersey (0.372%)

5 Lowest State Death Rate Percentages per Population from Covid:
T-46. Washington (0.159%)
T-46. Maine (0.159%)
48. Utah (0.130%)
49. Vermont (0.097%)
50. Hawaii (0.096%)

In December of 2020, the first Covid Vaccines were made available to the Public (as of now, anyone over the age of 5 is eligible).  Here are the 5 Highest and 5 lowest Vaccinated States:
5 Highest Vaccinated states:
1. Rhode Island (81% of the population fully vaccinated)
2. Vermont (80% of the population fully vaccinated)
3. Maine (79% of the population fully vaccinated)
T-4. Connecticut, Hawaii, and Massachusetts (78% of the population fully vaccinated)

5 Lowest Vaccinated States:
T-46. Arkansas & Idaho (53% of the population fully vaccinated)
T-48. Wyoming and Mississippi (51% of the population fully vaccinated)
50. Alabama (50% of the population fully vaccinated)

Compared to the rest of the industrialized world, the United States is lagging in Vaccinations rates.  While the US Fully Vaccinated rates is about 65%, many European countries have vaccination rates ranging from 70-90%.  Canada's vaccination rate is above 80%, while Australia and New Zealand are both approaching 80%. Even several Latin American countries have vaccination rates above 70%, including Chile, Cuba, Brazil, Argentina, and Costa Rica.

How long this pandemic lasts is an unknown.  We are likely in the last stages of this pandemic as it appears to be heading into a more endemic state, but when that transition occurs is unknown.

There is more that I will say in the weeks ahead, but for now, the numbers continue to rise in terms of Covid cases and deaths.

A Game-Changer of a Week

13 months into the Pandemic, a Week of Consequential Events have allowed me to finally glimpse life outside of the tunnel.  I have not reached the end of the tunnel, but I can see past the exit and begin to start making out what the post-pandemic world looks like.

7 days ago, I was preparing to get my 2nd Pfizer Coronavirus Shot. Of the members of my family, only my sister and a few of my in-laws had been fully vaccinated.  My parents had not even received a first shot, let alone a full vaccine.  Throughout my preparation for the 2nd shot, I was worried about a promise I had made to my parents. Would they listen to the pleas my older sister, Janet, and I had made to them? Could we finally get my parents to get the vaccine for a virus that was fatal, particularly among 80+ years olds like my parents are? Would I be able to see them one more time?

Ever since that apocalyptic nightmare come to life on the night of March 12th, 2020, I had approached life with a grim determination to try and slug through as best as I could.  As long as Liz and the kids were safe from the virus, I felt like I could do enough to prevent the virus from reaching me. Alot of my thinking was foolish, of course, but I felt like I could counter the increasing risk.  Mandating the wearing of masks helped in this cause, but never underestimate humanity's ability to counter scientific rational with irrational arrogance and stupidity.  I needed a simple way of remembering how to act in public in order to minimize my risk in contracting the coronavirus.

The answer to this was a method based on a Sermon series my local pastor had done in February, 2020. It was an acronym called C.A.R.E.  The acronym works like this:

C. - Confession/Contrition.  As a Lutheran, one of the first things we usually do in worship is confess our sins. It is our way of getting us in the mindset of worship.  Not only did I need to confess my sins before God, I needed to confess I was not in complete control of the situation.  God would determine my fate, and if I showed contrition and a willingness to do what it took to keep the virus personally at bay, maybe God would provide some good fortune.  
A. - Absolution.  The one part of the acronym that was totally out of my control.  I needed God's forgiveness and mercy to help clear my soul and head to know what to do in certain situations.
R. - Reconciliation. The hardest part of the acronym.  I needed to discern who was seeking the ability to reconcile and who was not.  If people were looking to listen and go back and forth with me in conversation and approach the situation with an open mind, that's who I wanted to speak with.  Those who had already made up their minds and who chose not to listen... I had to realize I am not going to reconcile with those people.  Stay aware from the heavy stuff with those people and focus more on light-hearted stuff.
E. - Empathy.  When I put on a mask, I make the assumption that I am an asymptomatic carrier of the coronavirus at all times. So it is my duty as a Christian to protect others.  I wear the mask in drive-thrus, sometimes when I am outside, anytime I enter a store or restaurant or church.  I wear it because my father taught me to do things like that. I also think of Jonah, Chapter 3 in the Bible... of how the people of Nineveh reacted to God's warning that the city was about to be destroyed... how they all tore their clothes and put on sackcloth and ash.  The mask has been my sackcloth and ash of sorts.  In a way, maybe God is trying to tell us to stop talking and start listening again. Listening is not a sign of weakness; it is a way to reach out and find out where others are hurting.  God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason after all.

For the better part of a year, C.A.R.E. is how I have operated.  It has not been perfect, but then again I am human. I have watched as others have mocked wearing of masks, not realizing it was the best option we had.  They have mocked lockdowns, not realizing that we need to buy time and figure out how to implement social distancing to minimize our chances of getting the virus.  Many felt indestructible; the virus has a 99% survivability, they claim.  But didn't Jesus say something looking out for the 1 over the 99 in the Gospels? And who is to say you are not going to be part of the 1?  I know people my age who are now or have been on life support because of this virus.  Their lives may never get back to normal... and those are the lucky ones.

As of this moment, this pandemic has produced the third highest pandemic death toll in US history and one of the Top 10 pandemic death tolls in Global History.  In the US, only the 1918 Flu Pandemic and the AIDS Pandemic (currently entering its 40th year) have produced higher death tolls.  Over 500000 deaths across a 365-day period of time.  It is nearly on par with heart disease and cancer deaths in the US.  And the thing is this disease is preventable, but we have failed to do the right things to keep the toll lower.

On Monday, as I got my 2nd Pfizer shot, I found out my parents had received the Johnson and Johnson vaccine.  I am not worried about them developing blood clots;  I am just glad they are on their way to being immune soon. Yesterday, my wife got her first vaccine shot.  We are now planning a trip to GA this summer to see my parents.  Just because I will have maximum immunity does not mean I will avoid being responsible.  I can't hide from life forever; the vaccine helps me gain more confidence to get back to a semblance of normalcy.

The day is coming soon when the pandemic will be declared over.  That day will begin a celebration that we have not seen in a long time. A revitalization of the human spirit, blessed by God himself.  Think the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro, but on a global scale.  Oh, it's going to be fun.  Yes, we will mourn the loss of life as well.  We will need to find out what went wrong and try to make sure we don't let this happen again.  That will come in time.  Also, there will be a reckoning among those leaders who failed to do what is right and protect as many lives as possible (for starters, I am looking at certain Evangelical Christian leaders in the US who were more concerned with filled pews and offering plates than serving and helping in this time of crisis... they have been exposed as fake shepherds).

For now, everyone needs to still do their part to reduce the virus' chances of spreading.  Social distancing, wear a mask, be smart and safe... even if you have been vaccinated.  We will get to the end of the tunnel soon.  The party will wait until we are ready.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a long-awaited family trip to GA to reschedule.

Eulogy for a Comet Titan

On Friday, September 13th, Jeffery Michael Cwiek left this earthly realm at the young age of 45.  His passing, though not the first member of the South Gwinnett High School Class of 1992 to leave us, is perhaps the biggest loss from our childhood many of us have experienced. It didn't matter if you were his neighbor, his first love, his teammate, or just a casual friend... Jeff had an impact on many us, particularly those of us who grew up with him beginning at WC Britt Elementary.

We all have our Jeff Cwiek stories.  Gifted with the ability to succeed at whatever he put his mind to... athletics (he played soccer, basketball, baseball, football, etc.), academics, music, and, yes, even politics, Jeff was the kind of person that seem to have success no matter what he tried.  Some people could be insufferable with that kind of a gift.  Not Jeff.  Jeff seemed to enjoy being around other successful individuals in various areas.  He made it as cool to be a brainiac as much as it was to be a jock.  He seemed to bring people together in our journeys through Elementary, Middle, and High School.  He may not have always been the leader, but we all took our cues from Jeff.

I first met Jeff in 2nd Grade in the classroom and on the Soccer Fields of Briscoe Park.  While Jeff was clearly the better soccer player as he played forward while I played fullback, Jeff would challenge me in academics.  My strongest subject was Mathematics, and I felt I was the best student in the entire grade at Math at the time and one of the best overall students.  Jeff would push me in the classroom, especially in Math.  It was as if he wanted me to prove how good I was academically.  Somedays I got frustrated because I was overshadowed at times by Jeff's larger than life image.  But I began to eventually realize that Jeff's purpose was to make me earn the respect of my peers and to have confidence in my own abilities.

Jeff and I continued to be regular classmates, and in 5th Grade, we were classmates again in Ms. Lucky's Class.  By that time, it was clear that I was one of the smartest kids at Britt Elementary, though I still got into occasional trouble in the classroom.  I had also developed my musical talents, thanks to singing and playing the Piano.  5th Grade was when we tried the Recorder for the first time in the Fall.  Jeff could play the Recorder easily and he and I were among the best recorder players around.  But it was in the Spring that Jeff's musical talents really shone through.  Jeff and I were selected to sing a duet on the song "Camptown Races".  Jeff was the lead-off, and I sang second.  I thought I had my lines down pat in practice, but when it came time to sing for real, Jeff was ready, and I... well, I got egg on my face during the run-through with the 3-5 Grades in the audience.  I blew the second half of my lines.  It didn't matter that I got it right at the PTA Meeting or when we sang at Gwinnett Place Mall; I felt terrible blowing it in front of my peers.  What I didn't realize is that Jeff had stumbled through his lines as well.  It's just that Jeff knew how to continue singing as if nothing was wrong.  I had tried so hard to be perfect, that I had failed to realize the audience didn't care for perfection.  As long as you were confident, you could make the audience believe everything was OK.  Jeff knew this.  I learned it the hard way.  Redemption would come a few weeks later at Field Day.  I had never been a part of a winning team on Field Day.  Jeff made us believe we could be the best 5th Grade Class.  In the Egg Race, I would be the anchor of the team.  With Jeff encouraging me, I was determined to not let the egg drop, and I succeeded, helping our team to a critical victory in the Egg Race.  Meanwhile, Jeff would lead our Tug of War Team to victory in the main event.  At the end of the Field day, Lucky's Loose Lips had score the upset win, and Jeff was the kid who helped win it.

As the years progressed and we moved on to Snellville Middle and South Gwinnett High School, Jeff continued to flourish in the Classroom and on the Athletic Field.  He also got into politics as the Class President in 8th, 9th, and 11th Grades.  He and I would continue to meet in the classroom, and Jeff pushed me to continue being the best.  He pushed everyone, as a matter of fact.  He didn't care if he faced Brent Bailey, Jennifer Iredale, John Brown, Beth Fitzpatrick, myself, or anyone else.  Jeff was determined to make us prove how good we were.  He made Honor Rolls, and was regularly the best player on the field.  In High School, Jeff was an MVP, and a National Honors Society member.  He did it all:  one day he would play in a baseball game, the next day he was racing cars and stopping them on a dime for Science Team.  And as for making sleds for Physics... well, maybe I shouldn't get into detail about that.  When it was time to name Mr. Senior and Mr. Cometa in the Class of 1992, we all knew who deserved it.  Jeff won both.

One of the great High School Memories of Jeff occurred in the Spring of our Senior Year.  For three years, I had been the de facto leader of South's Math Team, winning individual county Trophies in each of my first three years. The Final County Tournament of my Career would occur on home turf and I was excited about it. For the first time, a group of my classmates joined Beth Fitzpartick and I in competing against the County's best and Jeff was there as well.  There was a great picture of Jeff and I reviewing a team Math Problem.  It was a perfect example of Jeff showing he could match wits with the best.  I had a bad day and South did not finish in the Top 3 as I had hoped, but it didn't matter.  I had the most fun at that Tournament, and it was because of classmates like Jeff lending a hand.

Of course, who could forget our High School Graduation? Because of the threat of rain Graduation night, the event was moved to First Baptist Church.  The seating was tailor-made for Jeff to be the center of attention that night, even though he had no active role in the event other than walking for his diploma.  He sat in the front role and high-fived multiple classmates as they received their HS diplomas.  I probably gave him the hardest hand-slap of my life as I walked towards Mr. Krug.  He also joined with the Senior Choir as they sang the Alma Mater song at the end of the ceremony.  Finally, he lifted me up on his shoulders and carried me out of the church like I was a victorious head coach.

With all the school success, Jeff never let it get to his head.  In fact, Jeff showed a great deal of respect to all, particularly the parents.  Jeff always referred to my parents as Mr. and Mrs. Walker and they appreciated his gesture.  Clearly, Jeff learned the respect of elders from his parents.

I want to close with two personal thoughts.  First, I choose to remember who Jeff was in School, not as an adult.  He could do so many things in the school days.  Girls loved him; guys respected him.  I don't recall him having any enemies at Britt or Snellville or South.  In a way, he wasn't just the soul of our class; he was our unifying force as well.  You don't believe me, look at who has come to pay their respects to him in Lawrenceville, and many more of us wish we could be there with you. 

Second, particularly among those of us from the Britt Family, Jeff influenced us.  We all took at least a piece of Jeff with us and many of us still carry a little of Jeff's personality even today.  I catch myself once in a while acting a little like him.  It's those memories and quirks of Jeff we will carry with us in the years ahead.

Jeff was among the brightest of stars, if not the brightest.  Sometimes, the brightest burn so brightly that they are never meant to complete a normal life cycle and disappear quicker than other stars.  But they have an impact.  We mourn with his sons; his brother, John and sister, Cindy; and with his mom.  We raise our glasses in honor and in memory of him.

Goodbye, my friend, and thank you.  We will see you again one day in the great beyond.

College Football 2018: Ohio (State) Vs. Everything…

The story of the 2018 College Football Season is not about Alabama’s quest for back-to-back titles… not about Clemson’s Defense which may be one of the best D’s in College Football History… not about Georgia’s quest to return to the Title Game for a second chance… not about Michigan finally getting the title shot promised when Jim Harbaugh was hired… not about Wisconsin or Washington proving they are playoff-worthy, etc.

If there are three people who best epitomize this year in College Football, it is three professional Wrestlers who hail from the western parts of the state of Ohio…  Jake and Dave Crist from Dayton, and Sam Johnson (aka Sami Callihan or Jeremiah Crane) from Bellafontaine.  Together the Crist Brothers and Sami form a Tag Team Trio known as oVe… Ohio Vs. Everything.  They wrestle in Impact Wrestling as heels, and are very talented athletic professional wrestlers.  To describe their ring attire is tough.  It’s a hint of goth mixed in with hints of sadistic culture, and they act always angry and very brutal (pro tip:  don't get caught alone in a bathroom with those three... especially if they have a video camera).  In short, they are a perfect symbolism of the forgotten parts of the rural Midwest… the parts that helped elect a certain person as President two years ago.

Ohio State and their fans are angry this year, even though the situation is of their own making.  They hired Urban Meyer six years ago thinking he would win Titles and mold men of virtue like he allegedly did with Tim Tebow at Florida.  They ignored the issues of Aaron Hernandez and other Florida players who acted badly in Gainesville under Urb’s Florida tenure.  And they ignored how one of Urb’s Assistants, Zach Smith, had treated his significant other at Gainesville.  Zach joined Urb in Columbus, and reports surfaced earlier this year that in 2015, Zach had physically assaulted his wife.  Smith was fired, so end of story, right?  Well, Urban handled that situation very poorly, and there are still questions as to what Urb knew and when he knew it.  A decade ago, such questions would seem irrelevant, but that was before Jerry Sandusky, before Larry Nassar, before Maryland and their issues.  As reporters pressed on Urb, he gave the impression he was hiding more than what was known.  Apparently, there was enough issues that Ohio State suspended Urb for the first three weeks of the season.

So Buckeye fans are angry… but not at Urb.  They are angry at the University for suspending Meyer.  They are especially angry at the media for reporting on this story (hmmm, that sounds familiar…).  And they are angry because they (and not eventual Champion Alabama) should have been in the playoff last season.  Professional Football stinks in Ohio.  Lebron has left them again.  Baseball is going nowhere.  Now the one thing Ohio has (Buckeye football) is under siege.  It’s everyone else’s fault.  Buckeye fans will make them ALL pay!

So, Ohio State has a huge chip on their shoulder in 2018.  And they are a wounded animal right now.  And that what makes this season all about how Ohio State responds to this crisis.  Two things can happen when a storm rages all about you (whether that storm is of your own making or not).  You can crack under the pressure.  Or you can circle the wagons and come out swinging.  If Ohio State falls apart while Urb is suspended, it is likely he will be fired after the season.  But I don’t think that will happen.  Ohio State will take an “Ohio Vs. Everything” approach this year.  I predict Ohio State will win all three games Urb is suspended.  They will finished the regular season undefeated, win the Big Ten Title, and will beat Alabama for the National Title in January.  My heart still wants Georgia to win it all, but my gut says Ohio State is OK with playing the heel and do what it takes to win it all.  After all, Urb above all things was brought in for one purpose:  win multiple titles.

For this year, O-H… I-O should be replaced with o-V-e as the popular chant in Columbus.  It is more indicative of Buckeye football and their fans in 2018.  This College Football season is truly about Ohio (State) vs. Everything.

Coming together to Grieve Another Life cut Short...

Six years ago, I lost a close friend to suicide.  Justin Ellis, who was my best friend from 5th Grade at WC Britt Elementary through Middle School and into High School succumbed to the demons that had haunted him for most of his life.  He was just 37 at the time of his death.

I blogged at the time that maybe I thought I could reach out to him if I knew he was in trouble. I wanted to believe I could make a difference.  But in the years since, I have come to the realization that no matter what I thought I could have done, I was not in a position to save Justin.  Not me, not his sister, not his true love.  As much as I thought I could have tried, if Justin had made the decision to go through with things, I could not have prevented his tragic ending.  Justin had to be the one to ask for help.  And sometime people are stubborn to ask for help.  I should know.

Sadly, another classmate has followed Justin’s path.  Unlike Justin, this classmate had a great supporting group of friends and family.  This person was one of our brightest lights.  There was no way I thought this person could take their own life.  No way, no how… And yet, here we are mourning a classmate gone too soon, again.

This classmates’ closest friends and family are devastated. Some knew depression was in her heart and wanted to help. Some knew she was hurting and tried to reach out. I am sure there are some guilty feelings out there in the Comet Community and some soul-searching.

It’s OK to think that you could have stopped this from happening.  But please do not beat yourselves up over what you could have done differently.  You did what you thought was best at the time.  It hurts, I know.  The only thing I can tell you is to remember the good about her.  There was much good in her.  We all knew that. 

This passing is going to hurt for a long time, especially to those closest to her.  The pain will show itself in unexpected ways at unexpected times.  I suspect her family will never completely get over the pain.  I know a close friend who lost her father to suicide some 20 years ago.  She is still not over it, and she’s a pastor.

I know some of you want to help her family out and that is good.  But please take some time to help yourselves in this time of pain.  Grieve, shed tears, remember.  Trying to work through it only bottles up the pain you are feeling and it will come out at inopportune moments.  Grieving doesn’t mean you are weak.  It means that your friend/family member mattered to you.  It means you are human and have a heart and care.  Do not worry what others think.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to get angry, do it.  If you need to talk, talk.  Whatever helps you to mourn.  Then, when you are ready, comfort those who need help to mourn.

There will come a time when we pick up the pieces and continue on with life.  But for now, let us show love for one another.  Maybe it’s time we stopped worrying about settling scores and winning at all costs.  Maybe it’s time we start acting like a community of friends again.  Maybe turn off the voices of people who shouldn’t matter and who think of you as nothing more than a rating’s number.  Listen to some music.  Meet friends for dinner to talk.  We could use a little more picking each other up and less tearing each other apart.  The judgmental attitudes can wait for another time.  It’s time to heal our broken hearts… again.