The Swami’s NFL Pre-season Predictions (sure to go wrong)

One of my greatest nicknames is The Swami (not to be confused with that blowhard, Chris Berman).  I got this nickname about 10 years ago, because of my prognostication abilities.  It has been successful in fantasy football as well as weekly NFL predictions.  If you don’t believe me, check out my Fantasy Sports profile on Yahoo! Sports.  But even my prognostic ability has not saved me from some of the worst Post-season football predictions in history.  I have never gotten a post-season prediction right.  So with that in mind, I’ve come up with 10 predictions for this season just for chuckles and grins:

10) With a possible season-long lockout looming, this may be Peyton Manning’s last shot at a Super Bowl.  Crazy thought, huh?  Peyton Manning’s last hurrah being this season?  Think about it, though.  If the NFL’s 2011-12 season is lost, Peyton Manning would be 36 heading into the 2012-13 season.  But a lost season would probably cost Peyton a step and give the elder brother Manning a life-changing choice:  continue on with the slower step risking concussion injuries, or retire intact and do something new.  I don’t think Peyton is consumed with a Favre-like ability to keep playing.  I see him in a broadcast booth, providing analysis for years to come once he retires.  Or maybe acting.  Whatever Peyton’s post-NFL career plans are, I believe a lockout could hasten those plans.

9) The Jets will win the AFC East and lead the league in unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.  If I wasn’t living in Baltimore, I would root for the Jets.  Rex Ryan should have been a head coach years ago.  In his first season, he justified why he should have been a head coach.  Now, he has all the pieces of the puzzle in place to make a serious run at the Jets 2nd Super Bowl.  Though I predict they will ultimately knock out the Colts in the division round, they will not win the AFC title, thanks to Mark Sanchez’s sophomore slump.  Meanwhile, the attitude of their coach will rub off on the Jets, and they will cause so many unsportsmanlike penalties, the U’s alumni will accuse the Jets of getting too rowdy.

8) The Redskins will make the playoffs and the Eagles will not.  Before you all think I’ve lost my mind, consider that the Redskins finally did the right thing and got rid of the dead weight that was Vinnie Cerrato.  They brought in Football personnel in Mike Shannahan and Bruce Allen.  They brought in Donovan McNabb as their QB.  As for the Eagles, they will regret trading McNabb.  Vick and Cobb are not the answers at QB.  Ultimately, the Eagles go 7-9 and Andy Reid gets canned.

7) 9-7 will win both the NFC and AFC West… and the Division winners could be unexpected.  It’s clear that the Arizona Cardinals will suffer with the retirement of Kurt Warner, while San Francisco and Seattle are much improved.  My guess is the 49ers will be the NFC West champions.  In the AFC, Norv Turner will finally remember he’s Norv Turner and the Chargers will regress.  Can the Broncos or Chiefs capitalize?  Maybe not, but I don’t expect San Diego to win more than 9 games this season anyways.

6) Jay Cutler will end the season on the bench.  I remember when all the Bears fans were printing Super Bowl tickets when Cutler came to Chicago.  They forgot that Cutler has never won anything in his career.  That lack of vision will cost Lubby Smith his job.  However, it will also cost Jay his job.  Look for Chicago fans (who notoriously call for the backup QB early and often) to revolt on Cutler around mid-season.

5) 5 of the 8 division champions from last season will not repeat.  The division champs for this year will be… AFC:  Chargers (repeat), Colts (repeat), Ravens, and Jets.  NFC:  49ers, Falcons, Packers, Cowboys (repeat).  Other playoff teams… AFC:  Texans and Dolphins.  NFC:  Redskins and Saints.

4) Brett Favre will not make it through the season.  Even God has to be pissed off at Brett’s act.  My guess is that Brett blows out his Achilles about midway through the season, ending his season and career.  Without Brett, the Vikings will miss the playoffs and Brad Childress will be fired.

3) The Houston Texans will make the playoffs. Finally, the Texans will live up to their expectations and make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.  They may even win a playoff game, but they will ultimately fall in the division round.

2) The New England Patriots will not finish above .500.  Speaking of fate catching up with a team, the Patriots will finally pay the price for years of undercutting veterans.  Also, Tom Brady is not happy and the risk of holding out will crush any hopes of avenging last year’s playoff debacle.  They go 8-8 and finish 3rd behind the Jets and Dolphins in the AFC East.

1) A regular season match-up will be a Super Bowl LXV preview… and it will take place on Veteran’s Day.  That’s right, I’m not going with the easy pick of a Colts-Cowboys Super Bowl re-match from the regular season.  My dream Super Bowl will become reality when the Baltimore Ravens win the AFC and the Atlanta Falcons win the NFC, setting up The Swami Bowl (regular season match-up will be Veteran’s Day in Atlanta on NFL Network).  Both teams are dark horse candidates to go all the way to Dallas.  The Falcons have all the pieces assembled to win now, while a potentially explosive offense in Baltimore may be Ray Lewis’s last shot at glory.  Who will win?  I’m not saying…

Lessons from Joshua’s first real road trip

So we learned a lot from Joshua’s first vacation trip.  I can’t count Pennsylvania Amish Country as Joshua was still an infant and did not recognize many people, plus it was only one night.  Still, this trip was useful in many ways.

First, we learned Joshua is now at an age where he has trouble napping in the car.  This became a problem, especially on the return trip and especially as we were trying to cross the Bay Bridge.  Joshua was very upset, which made driving for me and calming down tasks for Liz very difficult.  At home it’s easy:  put Joshua in the crib and he will fall asleep.  It also didn’t help that Joshua could not watch his TV shows.  A portable DVD player will help on the next long trip…

Second, we learned Joshua can sleep in his pack and play and in a hotel.  It may not be the best sleeping conditions, but he could sleep through the night.  It also probably helped that he knew Mommy and Daddy were nearby.  This was a great fear of ours considering Joshua has never really slept in the pack and play before.

Third, Joshua hates very hot weather.  The fact that Maryland was having a triple-digit heat wave made us all miserable from 10 am to 6 pm each day.  But Joshua really hated it.  Most times we got him out of the car before we turned off the car and A/C.

Finally, Joshua is now at an age where he wants to move.  Extended times in his car seat and staying in a cramped hotel room made Joshua fussy.  Even when we went out, there was little for Joshua to move around.  By the time our next road trip commences, there is a good chance that Joshua will be walking, so restricted movement will be a problem.

It’s a good thing our next road trip will be in September, when the weather will be a little cooler.  The bad news:  the next trip, which will be in September to Atlanta, takes 12 hours.  Honey, we made need a lot of DVDs on this trip…

Man vs. (Spicy) Food

One of my current favorite shows on television is the Travel Channel’s Man vs. Food.  The host, Adam Richman, visits many cities, checking out some the city’s best restaurants, and taking on some of the most legendary eating challenges.  Many of those challenges involved eating ridiculous amounts of food in a small amount of time (like eating a 4.5 pound steak, a 4 lb. grilled cheese sandwich, a 6-pound shake with a 1.5 pound sandwich, or a 12-egg omelet).  But, some of the most fascinating challenges involve eating spicy food, particularly hot wings from hell and spicy sushi.  Those spicy challenges intrigue me, particularly as I have gotten older and grown more accustomed to spicy foods.

Adam’s battle with the Ghost Chili and Habanero peppers have been the most insane to deal with.  The fact that someone can put their stomach through so much Scoville units of heat has been painful to watch.  And yet, I am working my way towards increasingly higher spicy levels, which is most ironic.

When I was younger, I hated hot and spicy foods.  I ate hot dogs covered with applesauce, and I couldn’t eat the Spicy Fried Chicken found at BoJangles or Mrs. Winner’s.  As I have gotten older, my tastes for spicy meats has become more dominant.  When I go to Chick-Fil-A, for example, I must have a Spicy Chicken Biscuit or their Spicy Chicken Sandwich.  At KFC, I loved consuming their Sauceless Hot Wings, until I discovered their Fiery Grilled Wings were even hotter and better.  My current favorite restaurant is Nando’s, a worldwide restaurant I discovered when in Canberra, Australia.  They specialize in Peri-Peri, a Spicy chili on the Scoville Scale between serrano and habanero peppers.  I’m working my way up to the extremely hot peri-peri chicken  at Nando’s (I’m now on moderate and feel like I could take hot next).

As I go up the spicy level, I come to appreciate how good spicy food really is.  Now, instead of running away from spicy meats, I’m looking for it (still cautiously, though).  Maybe one day I’ll feel confident and brave enough to go after some of the spicy wing challenges that Adam has encountered. Or maybe not.

Art Modell, vindicated

As someone wise pointed out “You learn a lot about people in times of adversity.”  What we have learned in the wake of the LeBron James circus is this:  Cleveland cannot lose gracefully.  It has been 46 years since any Cleveland franchise has won a title.  The way Cleveland fans acted Thursday night proves they deserve a few more years in purgatory.

And somewhere in Maryland, one Art Modell can sympathize with LeBron James.

You remember Art Modell… The most hated man in Cleveland for moving the Browns to Baltimore.  Cleveland fans wanted to kill Art, Art was a traitor, blah, blah, blah.  First off, Cleveland fans, get a grip.  You want to talk about traitorous owners.  Robert Irsay made Art Modell look like a saint in comparison.  The only reason history makes Modell look worse is because ESPN was still an infant when Robert lied to the people of Baltimore, then snuck out the Colts in the middle of the night during an ice storm.  What did Baltimore get from the NFL after the Colts left town?  Pretty much the cold shoulder.  They even thought Jacksonville was a better NFL town than Baltimore.  Shows you what the NFL knows… 

When the first Browns left, the NFL was ready to bend over backwards to ensure Cleveland was not teamless for long.  They made sure the Browns kept their records, colors, and nickname.  Cleveland even built a new stadium for the Browns… something Art Modell had wanted just to keep the original Browns in Cleveland.  But no, Cleveland wanted to build a new stadium for the Indians and Cavaliers instead of their most successful sports franchise.  The Browns could stay in that hell hole that was Cleveland municipal stadium and like it.  No wonder Art always wanted to keep Baltimore as an option.  He knew he couldn’t trust Cleveland to help him out of a bad stadium.

Which brings me to LeBron.  LeBron had taken the Cavs about as far as he could.  He provided Cleveland with memorable moments, and made Cleveland a destination spot.  He wanted to win for Cleveland.  And how did Cleveland treat him?  They expected him to be Bernie Kosar, Bob Feller, and Jim Brown all rolled into one… at all times.  If he struggled, he was hot dogging.  If he didn’t hit a game-winner, he was the reason they lost.  They wanted him to win the title for Cleveland and go undefeated in the process.  When he moved on, his former owner and fans trashed him in such a way that no free agent will touch the Cavs for years to come. 

This is the ugly side of Cleveland.  It has shown itself again.  Maybe this time people will understand that it is the people that make owners and players want to leave it.  Art Modell, you have been officially vindicated.

Why some areas never embraces pro/college teams…

It’s always been interesting in my time and travels across this country to see how people show their passions for certain sports, whether it be professional or amateur in nature.  As a die-hard sports fan who grew up in Atlanta, I’ve heard every other city bad mouth Atlanta’s sports fans saying how they don’t care about sports.  They cite the poor attendance for Braves’ game when the Braves were actually good (a failure to sell out home playoff games), the blackouts for Falcons games, the miserable attendance for Hawks basketball, and that the Thrashers should be moved to Canada where people care.  Based on that, Atlanta is a bad sports town?

Look, Atlanta may be a lot of things, but just because the capital of the South doesn’t support professional teams at a level their Northern counterparts do, it doesn’t mean Atlanta hates sports.  Go to a Prep football game on Friday nights in the Fall, or go try and find a seat on Saturday across any major College Football stadium in the South.  The passion is there.  In fact, as you look across the country different sports take different importance. 

In the Northeast, collegiate sports, once powerful, have now all but vanished.  Aside from Boston College and maybe Penn State, there is no reason for fans to support college team and prep teams are ignored.  In those areas, professional teams dominate.  In the South, college and prep teams have dominated while the professional teams struggle to draw crowds.  The Midwest, except for Chicago, is very much like their southern counterparts.

So, what areas support what sports?  Here’s my view on key areas, mainly those I have been to…

New York:  Professional, and although split, Yankees have the edge

Baltimore:  Professional, Ravens

Buffalo:  Profession, Bills

Philadelphia:  Professional, either Eagles or Phillies

Pittsburgh:  Professional, Steelers

Washington:  Professional, Redskins

North Carolina:  Collegiate, ACC Basketball

Atlanta:  Collegiate and Prep, SEC Football

Cincinnati and Cleveland:  Collegiate, Ohio State Buckeyes

Indiana:  Collegiate and Prep, Basketball

Chicago:  Professional, Bears

Denver:  Professional, Broncos